And They Shall Be One Flesh

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:18-25)

This story is the basis for all scriptural teaching about marriage. In it we find that the woman was created specifically to meet the needs of the man. She was to be an help meet for him. The Hebrew word translated help meet means an aide or assistant. She is not an inferior.

The choice of terminology here is very much like a team of surgeons. One is the team leader, skilled in certain aspects of the surgery, while the assisting surgeon, who may be just as skilled, or even more so, focuses on other aspects of the surgery. Respect for one anothers skills enables them to work together and be far more effective than either would be separately. The leader is dependent on the assisting surgeon to help spot problems, take care of his or her specialty, and should the need arise, take over his position and complete the surgery. The assistant, is freed to focus on developing problems, and performing his or her specialty, always prepared to take over if needed, yet not interfering inappropriately with the lead surgeon's decisions or work. Both must have the patients best interest in mind rather than their own pride. The best surgeons are those most effectively utilize each others skills.

This was God's plan for marriage, and he created woman for the express purpose of accomplishing that plan. She was made from man's rib, making her man's equal in every way. Women are at least as intelligent as men, although their focus tends to be on different subjects.

This makes them especially valuable, as they specialize in areas men tend to neglect. Working together, they complement each other, producing much better results than they could accomplish working separately.

Adam says that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh. The word translated cleave means to cling or adhere to, to be joined together. Eve was literally part of Adams flesh. The husband and wife relationship is to be just as strong as their connection, and modern day divorce actions show that loosing a spouse is just as devastating as loosing a physical limb.

I Corinthians 6:16 makes it clear that the sex act produces this joining. "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh." Traditionally a marriage was not considered consumated until the sexual act was completed. Sex was frequently referred to as the marriage act. This is true even if the sexual act was with a prostitute. Unfortunately, for those who have been promiscous, the joining effect is contaminated and weakened by the joining to the others.

Jesus quotes Genesis, stating that the joining is Gods work in Mark 10:6-9. "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." This is also recorded in Matthew 19:4-6. The marriage is not an act of man, but of God.