More Benefits Of Reconciliation

It was a few days journey from Beersheba to Egypt.  Jacob sent Judah ahead to meet Joseph and find out where they were to go.  Joseph met them in the land of Goshen in the area between the Nile delta and the present day Suez Canal, on the eastern edge of Egypt.  Judah and Joseph then went to Goshen and met Jacob and the family, in Genesis 46:28-30.  “And he sent Judah before him unto Joseph, to direct his face unto Goshen; and they came into the land of Goshen.  And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.  And Israel said unto Joseph, Now let me die, since I have seen thy face, because thou art yet alive.”

What a reunion that must have been.  The rest of the family had not seen Joseph and believed him dead for twenty two years.   One can only imagine the hugging and tears of joy.  Jacob said he could die in peace now that he had seen Joseph again. 

Joseph still needed to report their arrival to Pharaoh. The Hebrew’s culture was very different from That of the Egyptians, and as we have already seen, the Egyptians were very race and class conscious.   He suggested that they tell Pharaoh they were sheep herders because the Egyptians looked down on people who messed with sheep and would leave them alone rather than trying to assimulate them into Egyptian culture, as Genesis 46:31-34 tells us.  “And Joseph said unto his brethren, and unto his father's house, I will go up, and show Pharaoh, and say unto him, My brethren, and my father's house, which were in the land of Canaan, are come unto me; And the men are shepherds, for their trade hath been to feed cattle; and they have brought their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have.  And it shall come to pass, when Pharaoh shall call you, and shall say, What is your occupation?  That ye shall say, Thy servants' trade hath been about cattle from our youth even until now, both we, and also our fathers: that ye may dwell in the land of Goshen; for every shepherd is an abomination unto the Egyptians.”

Joseph took five of the brothers and his father and introduced them to Pharaoh, who took the time to get acquainted with them, in Genesis 47:1-6.  “Then Joseph came and told Pharaoh, and said, My father and my brethren, and their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have, are come out of the land of Canaan; and, behold, they are in the land of Goshen.  And he took some of his brethren, even five men, and presented them unto Pharaoh.

And Pharaoh said unto his brethren, What is your occupation?

And they said unto Pharaoh, Thy servants are shepherds, both we, and also our fathers.  They said moreover unto Pharaoh, For to sojourn in the land are we come; for thy servants have no pasture for their flocks; for the famine is sore in the land of Canaan: now therefore, we pray thee, let thy servants dwell in the land of Goshen.

And Pharaoh spake unto Joseph, saying, Thy father and thy brethren are come unto thee: The land of Egypt is before thee; in the best of the land make thy father and brethren to dwell; in the land of Goshen let them dwell: and if thou knowest any men of activity among them, then make them rulers over my cattle.” 

Learning they were shepherds, Pharaoh suggested they stay in the Goshen area, which had some of the best pastureland in Egypt,  Since the Egyptians considered nomadic herdsman as inferior, they did not use Goshen very much.  In fact it was considered such a demeaning profession Pharaoh could not get Egyptians to herd his own sheep and cattle.  He asked if any of Jacob’s sons would be interested in taking the job. 

Pharaoh was impressed with Jacob, as we see in Genesis 47:7-10.  “And Joseph brought in Jacob his father, and set him before Pharaoh: and Jacob blessed Pharaoh.  And Pharaoh said unto Jacob, How old art thou?

And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.  And Jacob blessed Pharaoh, and went out from before Pharaoh.”

When asked about his age, Jacob complained that he was only a hundred and thirty and had not lived nearly as long as his father and grandfather.  He also complained about how hard his life had been.  He totally ignored the fact that most of his problems had been the result of his own actions.  He had been forced to to go to Padanaram as a result of cheating his brother.  His efforts to cheat had created a conflict between him and his father in law forcing him to leave Haran.  His sons had followed his example forcing them to leave Shechem, then had sole Joseph with the same attitude.   Joseph had just been restored to him and he had been given the best land in Egypt for his business, and he was complaining about how hard his life had been!   Like many today, he was focused on the problems rather than on God’s blessings.  It was the reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers that made this all possible. 

Joseph proceeded to fulfil Pharaoh’s instructions in Genesis 47:11-12.  “And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh had commanded.  And Joseph nourished his father, and his brethren, and all his father's household, with bread, according to their families.”

Then name Ramses means “created by Ra,” and referred to the entire Nile delta region, some of the richest soil in the world.  Centuries later, one of the Pharaohs, Ramses I would claim that name for himself and name his capital Ramses, but the land had been called that for almost a thousand years before he came to power.   Many have assumed the land and city were named after the king, resulting in confusion about the historical dates for Genesis and Exodus.   

Benefits of Reconciliation

Becoming confident that his brothers’ attitudes had changed, Jacob had risked letting them know who he was and what he thought, opening the possibility for reconciliation.  Unless someone took the first step, it could not happen.  His initial effort was met with considerable suspicion, because of his brother’s sense of guilt.  It took considerable effort on his part to convince them he was willing to forgive them.   Eventually they were convinced he was sincere and reconciliation took place.  Given the chance, eventually the relationship would grow to be better than it had ever been, but it could not happen until the brothers acknowledged their own part in the separation and they understood Joseph had forgiven them.  Efforts at reconciliation usually fail because people refuse to be honest about what happened and take responsibility for their actions. 

The effects of reconciliation were apparent to everyone, as Genesis 45:16-19 tells us.  “And the fame thereof was heard in Pharaoh's house, saying, Joseph's brethren are come: and it pleased Pharaoh well, and his servants.  And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Say unto thy brethren, This do ye; lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan; And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land.  Now thou art commanded, this do ye; take you wagons out of the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father, and come.  Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.”

People who really care about us will also care about those we care about.  They will be excited to see our relationships grow.   Pharaoh and his people cared about Joseph and were excited that he was reunited with his family.  Pharaoh did everything he could to encourage the relationship, asking Joseph’s brothers to move to Egypt, promising to give them a place to live and food to eat.  In fact, he told them to not worry about their stuff because he would supply whatever they needed.  He even supplied transportation.   

Joseph’s brothers agreed, and Joseph made sure they had everything they needed, and included some gifts of his own. In Genesis 45:21-24.  And the children of Israel did so: and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the commandment of Pharaoh, and gave them provision for the way.  To all of them he gave each man changes of raiment; but to Benjamin he gave three hundred pieces of silver, and five changes of raiment.  And to his father he sent after this manner; ten asses laden with the good things of Egypt, and ten she asses laden with corn and bread and meat for his father by the way.  So he sent his brethren away, and they departed: and he said unto them, See that ye fall not out by the way.”  He warned them not to fall back into their old ways and get into a fight on the way home.   

After twenty two years of believing Joseph was dead, Jacob had trouble believing he had been found alive, as Genesis 45:25-46:1.  “And they went up out of Egypt, and came into the land of Canaan unto Jacob their father, And told him, saying, Joseph is yet alive, and he is governor over all the land of Egypt. And Jacob's heart fainted, for he believed them not.  And they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said unto them: and when he saw the wagons which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived: And Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is yet alive: I will go and see him before I die.  And Israel took his journey with all that he had, and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac.”

Finally convinced Joseph was alive, Jacob went back to Beersheba where he had been raised and worshipped God, thanking him for restoring Joseph to him.  God encouraged him to go on to Egypt, reminding him of his promise to Abraham in Genesis 15, more than two hundred years before.  Genesis 46:2-describes what God told him.  “And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night, and said, Jacob, Jacob.

And he said, Here am I.  

And he said, I am God, the God of thy father: fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation:  I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again: and Joseph shall put his hand upon thine eyes.” 

Confident of God’s blessings, Jacob then resumed his journey to Egypt in Genesis 46:5-7.  And Jacob rose up from Beersheba: and the sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, and their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.  And they took their cattle, and their goods, which they had gotten in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob, and all his seed with him:  His sons, and his sons' sons with him, his daughters, and his sons' daughters, and all his seed brought he with him into Egypt.”  Jacob’s entire family was reunited in Egypt as a result of their reconciliation.  People who will not make the effort to obtain n reconciliation deprive themselves and others of the blessings they could have had. 

Reconciliation Begins

Joseph had wanted to rebuild the relationship between he and his brothers, but had not dared because he wasn’t sure how they would respond.  He had caused the situation with Benjamin to find out if their underlying attitudes had changed.  Their concern for their father and for Benjamin made it clear there had been a change in attitude.  He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, as Genesis 45:1-3.  “Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren.  And he wept aloud: and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard.  And Joseph said unto his brethren, I am Joseph; doth my father yet live? And his brethren could not answer him; for they were troubled at his presence.”

Twenty two years before, his brothers had sold him into slavery.  They had pretended he was dead so long they had come to believe it.   When he told them who he was they were dumbfounded, and terrified that he might try to get even with them.  He had a hard time convincing them he was not still holding a grudge, in Genesis 45:5-8.  “And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.  Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.  For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest.  And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.  So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. “

Joseph was honest about what they had done, and did not pretend they had done no wrong, but he didn’t rub it in either.   As I Corinthians 13:6 tells us, love “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”  He recognized they had intentionally betrayed him, intending his death.   Real love faces the truth about the person, and loves them in spite of their faults.  It doesn’t pretend they are something they are not.  Joseph also did not go out of his way to embarrass them or run them down for what they had done or emphasizing how much he had suffered as a result, simply pointing out what they had done.

He recognized God had allowed them to do an evil thing to accomplish His own purpose.  As a result of their sin, Joseph was in a position to save both the Egyptian people, and his brothers.  Understanding that he could not continue to hold a grudge against them.  If it had not happened, Joseph would be starving just like all the other people. 

 Based on that fact, he recommended they let what had happened go and rebuild their relationship, in Genesis 45:9-15.  “Haste ye, and go up to my father, and say unto him, Thus saith thy son Joseph, God hath made me lord of all Egypt: come down unto me, tarry not: And thou shalt dwell in the land of Goshen, and thou shalt be near unto me, thou, and thy children, and thy children's children, and thy flocks, and thy herds, and all that thou hast: And there will I nourish thee; for yet there are five years of famine; lest thou, and thy household, and all that thou hast, come to poverty.  And, behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin, that it is my mouth that speaketh unto you.  And ye shall tell my father of all my glory in Egypt, and of all that ye have seen; and ye shall haste and bring down my father hither.  And he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck, and wept; and Benjamin wept upon his neck.  Moreover he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them: and after that his brethren talked with him.”

The seven good years had passed, and two of the bad years.  There were five more bad years to come, and Joseph offered to take care of the whole family if they would move to Egypt where he could.  It was a very emotional time of celebrating for the brothers, although they still had reservations as a result of their guilty conscience.   They were able to talk freely, sharing the things that had happened and enjoying each other’s company because most of the fear was gone. 

Reconciliation cannot begin until someone, in this case, Joseph, made the first move.  Even when it begins, there is usually some hesitation, fearing that people still harbor ill will.  Frequently those who have a guilty conscience have trouble believing they are completely forgiven.  It would be years before Joseph’s brothers would accept his forgiveness completely.   

Testing The Waters

Before he could try for reconciliation, Joseph needed reassurance that his brothers were no longer just interested in themselves.  Their concerns over the return of their money gave him an idea as to how to test their attitudes.  Genesis 44:1-12 describes his effort.  “And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, Fill the men's sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put every man's money in his sack's mouth.  And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack's mouth of the youngest, and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken.

As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away, they and their asses.  And when they were gone out of the city, and not yet far off, Joseph said unto his steward, Up, follow after the men; and when thou dost overtake them, say unto them, Wherefore have ye rewarded evil for good?  Is not this it in which my lord drinketh, and whereby indeed he divineth? ye have done evil in so doing.  And he overtook them, and he spake unto them these same words.

And they said unto him, Wherefore saith my lord these words? God forbid that thy servants should do according to this thing: Behold, the money, which we found in our sacks' mouths, we brought again unto thee out of the land of Canaan: how then should we steal out of thy lord's house silver or gold?  With whomsoever of thy servants it be found, both let him die, and we also will be my lord's bondmen.

And he said, Now also let it be according unto your words: he with whom it is found shall be my servant; and ye shall be blameless.  Then they speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack.  And he searched, and began at the eldest, and left at the youngest: and the cup was found in Benjamin's sack.”

After Jacob’s fears, the brothers were horrified to find the cup in Benjamin’s sack.  They were willing to do almost anything to save Benjamin, and went back to the city to try to work something out, in Genesis 44:13-34.  “Then they rent their clothes, and laded every man his ass, and returned to the city.  And Judah and his brethren came to Joseph's house; for he was yet there: and they fell before him on the ground.

And Joseph said unto them, What deed is this that ye have done? wot ye not that such a man as I can certainly divine?

And Judah said, What shall we say unto my lord? what shall we speak? or how shall we clear ourselves? God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants: behold, we are my lord's servants, both we, and he also with whom the cup is found.

And he said, God forbid that I should do so: but the man in whose hand the cup is found, he shall be my servant; and as for you, get you up in peace unto your father.

Then Judah came near unto him, and said, Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord's ears, and let not thine anger burn against thy servant: for thou art even as Pharaoh.  My lord asked his servants, saying, Have ye a father, or a brother?   And we said unto my lord, We have a father, an old man, and a child of his old age, a little one; and his brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother, and his father loveth him.  And thou saidst unto thy servants, Bring him down unto me, that I may set mine eyes upon him.  And we said unto my lord, The lad cannot leave his father: for if he should leave his father, his father would die.  And thou saidst unto thy servants, Except your youngest brother come down with you, ye shall see my face no more.  And it came to pass when we came up unto thy servant my father, we told him the words of my lord.

And our father said, Go again, and buy us a little food.  And we said, We cannot go down: if our youngest brother be with us, then will we go down: for we may not see the man's face, except our youngest brother be with us.  And thy servant my father said unto us, Ye know that my wife bare me two sons: And the one went out from me, and I said, Surely he is torn in pieces; and I saw him not since: And if ye take this also from me, and mischief befall him, ye shall bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.  Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad's life; It shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave.  For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then I shall bear the blame to my father for ever.

Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren.  For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father.”

Judah had been the one who originally suggested selling Joseph as a slave. At the time he had been more interested in what he could get than how either Joseph or Jacob would be affected.  Clearly there has been a major change in his attitude, as Joseph’s test showed.  Had they not shown concern for Benjamin and their father’s feelings, Joseph would never have reached out to them. 

This same thing happens almost every time conflict causes a separation.  Until the person is reassured their opinions and feelings will be respected, they will not dare open up and try to work things out. 

Craving Reconciliation

Joseph had forgiven his brothers long before, and still loved them, but remembering what they had done to him, he didn’t trust them.  When he saw them again, and especially his youngest, who had not been involved in selling him, he wanted to spend time with them, and invited them to his home, in Genesis43:15-17.  “And the men took that present, and they took double money in their hand, and Benjamin; and rose up, and went down to Egypt, and stood before Joseph.  And when Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the ruler of his house, Bring these men home, and slay, and make ready; for these men shall dine with me at noon.  And the man did as Joseph bade; and the man brought the men into Joseph's house.” 

Because he didn’t trust them, Joseph didn’t dare tell hi brothers who he was.  They were on pins and needles, fearing it was just a ploy for making slaves of them, and made a special effort to make sure there was no question of them having stolen the money, as Genesis 43:18-25 tells us.  “And the men were afraid, because they were brought into Joseph's house; and they said, Because of the money that was returned in our sacks at the first time are we brought in; that he may seek occasion against us, and fall upon us, and take us for bondmen, and our asses.  And they came near to the steward of Joseph's house, and they communed with him at the door of the house, And said, O sir, we came indeed down at the first time to buy food: Ge 43:21 And it came to pass, when we came to the inn, that we opened our sacks, and, behold, every man's money was in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight: and we have brought it again in our hand.  And other money have we brought down in our hands to buy food: we cannot tell who put our money in our sacks.

And he said, Peace be to you, fear not: your God, and the God of your father, hath given you treasure in your sacks: I had your money. And he brought Simeon out unto them.  And the man brought the men into Joseph's house, and gave them water, and they washed their feet; and he gave their asses provender.  And they made ready the present against Joseph came at noon: for they heard that they should eat bread there.” 

Joseph’s servant welcomed them and did his best to reassure them that they were safe, and were not accused of having stolen the money.  When Joseph arrived they gave him the gifts.  He tried to put them at ease by asking about their father, while trying to keep his identity secret in Genesis 43:26-30.  “And when Joseph came home, they brought him the present which was in their hand into the house, and bowed themselves to him to the earth.  And he asked them of their welfare, and said, Is your father well, the old man of whom ye spake? Is he yet alive?

And they answered, Thy servant our father is in good health, he is yet alive. And they bowed down their heads, and made obeisance.

And he lifted up his eyes, and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother's son, and said, Is this your younger brother, of whom ye spake unto me? And he said, God be gracious unto thee, my son.  And Joseph made haste; for his bowels did yearn upon his brother: and he sought where to weep; and he entered into his chamber, and wept there.”  His emotions almost betrayed him when he spoke to Benjamin and he had to leave the room to get them under control.  Much as he wanted to talk freely with them, he was afraid of their reaction.

Getting his emotions under control, Joseph tried to go on as if he wasn’t affected, but found himself showing his love.  Thanks to the inherent racism in Egyptian culture and the things that were going on, nobody remarked about Joseph’s displays of affection, as Genesis 43:31-34 describes.  “And he washed his face, and went out, and refrained himself, and said, Set on bread.  And they set on for him by himself, and for them by themselves, and for the Egyptians, which did eat with him, by themselves: because the Egyptians might not eat bread with the Hebrews; for that is an abomination unto the Egyptians.  And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright, and the youngest according to his youth: and the men marvelled one at another.  And he took and sent messes unto them from before him: but Benjamin's mess was five times so much as any of theirs. And they drank, and were merry with him.”  His brothers were amazed at how different the treatment they received was from the first time they came. 

This fear of how the other party may react is almost always present when one realizes there is a need for reconciliation, whether one is the injured party or the perpetrator.  Until one is able to move past that fear and take the risk of being rejected, there will not be full reconciliation, no matter how much one may desire it.    

Forced To Go Back

I Corinthians 13:8 tells us, “Charity(love) never faileth…”  Love keeps on even when there is no love in return.  Even 20 years after they had sold him out, he still loved them and so he had their money secretly put back into their sacks, but he didn’t trust them and didn’t dare show his love openly.  His act of love caused consternation when it was discovered in Genesis 42:26-35.  “And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence.  And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it was in his sack's mouth.  And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, it is even in my sack: and their heart failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us?

And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying, The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country.  And we said unto him, We are true men; we are no spies: We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan.  And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone: And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffic in the land.

And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man's bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid.  And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me.”

Jacob had spent his entire cheating and tricking people, and his sons had a similar attitude.  They assumed Joseph’s action of love was some kind of trick, because that was the way they thought themselves.  They were terrified that they would be accused of stealing the money and sold as slaves.  Jacob was afraid he would another son and began to feel that God had turned against him.  He flatly refused to allow Benjamin to go and satisfy the Governor, blaming his sons for talking so much, even when Reuben offered to take full responsibility, in Genesis 42:37-38.  “And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.

And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.”  He felt like he would just die if anything happened to Benjamin.  God must be against him to put him in such a position.  He had no idea that God was using these things to bring about reconciliation and restoration. 

Things continued to get worse and finally they were forced to go back to Egypt for more food.  Joseph had so frightened his brothers that they refused to go back to Egypt unless Benjamin went along to prove they were not spies, in Genesis 43:1-7.  “And the famine was sore in the land.  And it came to pass, when they had eaten up the corn which they had brought out of Egypt, their father said unto them, Go again, buy us a little food. And Judah spake unto him, saying, The man did solemnly protest unto us, saying, Ye shall not see my face, except your brother be with you.  If thou wilt send our brother with us, we will go down and buy thee food: But if thou wilt not send him, we will not go down: for the man said unto us, Ye shall not see my face, except your brother be with you.

And Israel said, Wherefore dealt ye so ill with me, as to tell the man whether ye had yet a brother?

And they said, The man asked us straitly of our state, and of our kindred, saying, Is your father yet alive? have ye another brother? and we told him according to the tenor of these words: could we certainly know that he would say, Bring your brother down?” 

Judah was not the oldest, but he was the most dependable, and he offered to take the responsibility for keeping Benjamin safe, in Genesis 43:8-10.  “And Judah said unto Israel his father, Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go; that we may live, and not die, both we, and thou, and also our little ones.  I will be surety for him; of my hand shalt thou require him: if I bring him not unto thee, and set him before thee, then let me bear the blame for ever: For except we had lingered, surely now we had returned this second time.”  He pointed out that they would have already gone if it had not been for fear of what would happen if Benjamin didn’t go along. 

Jacob recognized they had no choice and agreed to allow Benjamin to go, but he reverted back to his old habits in trying to smooth things over, in Genesis 43:11-14.  “And their father Israel said unto them, If it must be so now, do this; take of the best fruits in the land in your vessels, and carry down the man a present, a little balm, and a little honey, spices, and myrrh, nuts, and almonds: And take double money in your hand; and the money that was brought again in the mouth of your sacks, carry it again in your hand; peradventure it was an oversight: Take also your brother, and arise, go again unto the man: And God Almighty give you mercy before the man, that he may send away your other brother, and Benjamin. If I be bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” 

Instead of trusting God, he planned to try to bribe the governor to forgive them by paying double and giving him a bunch of things that might not be available in Egypt.  He hoped it would free Simeon and prevent Benjamin being arrested.   It is the same thing he did when he heard Esau was coming with four hundred men.   He had slipped back into his old pattern, depending on his ideas rather than on God.

Seeking Reconciliation

The drought in the region caused widespread food shortages.  Hearing there was food for sale in Egypt, Jacob sent his sons to buy some.  The thought of meeting Joseph never crossed their minds, as we see in Genesis 42:5-8.  “And the sons of Israel came to buy corn among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan.  And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth.  And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye?

 And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food.”

Twenty one years before, Joseph’s brothers had hated him so much they plotted to murder him, but finally settled on selling him as a slave since it would pay better.  He had no reason to trust them, even though he no longer hated them.  He would not let them know who he was until he was sure they wouldn’t try again, Genesis 42:8-20 describes his efforts to be sure they no longer hated him.  “And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.  And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.

And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come.  We are all one man's sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies.

And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.

And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not.

And Joseph said unto them, That is it that I spake unto you, saying, Ye are spies: Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither.  Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies.  And he put them all together into ward three days.

And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; for I fear God:  If ye be true men, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses: But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so.”

Joseph was not being vindictive in placing them in prison for three days.  He had a responsibility to protect both himself and the nation of Egypt, and by selling him as a slave they had destroyed any trust he might have for them.  They would need to show they could be trusted before he dared open up to them.  He proposed to keep one of them in prison until they returned with their youngest brother to prove they were sincere.  It would give him the opportunity to see his baby brother even without them knowing who he was. 

For twenty one years, the brothers had lived with the guilt of having sold their brother and lying to their father.   As a result, they automatically assumed that what was happening was a result of their treatment of Joseph, as Genesis 42:21-23 makes clear.  “And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.  And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required.  And they knew not that Joseph understood them; for he spake unto them by an interpreter.”

When Joseph overheard their blaming each other, he realized their guilt had been eating on them for years, but he didn’t trust them yet, so followed through with his plan, to make sure he could trust them, in Genesis 42:24-25.  “And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.  Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them.”

His brothers had broken his trust, and it would have been foolish for Joseph to trust them fully without assurance that they were serious about doing differently.  Unfortunately, many people think that forgiveness automatically restores the trust.  It does not.  Forgiveness simply means that the person is no longer allowing their anger over what happened to control their thinking.  For them to regain trust, will require demonstration of one’s trustworthiness before they feel safe.  Simply saying “I’m sorry” will not rebuild trust, but it is an essential first step in reconciliation, because unless one accepts responsibility for having made a mistake or doing wrong, there is no reason to think they will do differently in the future.   Without reestablishing trust, efforts at reconciliation will not be satisfactory.

Enjoying the Blessings

Thirteen years after being taken to Egypt as a slave, Joseph was made the Prime Minister.  He was responsible for making sure there would be food when the seven years of famine came.  Genesis 41:47-49 describes his efforts.  “And in the seven plenteous years the earth brought forth by handfuls.  And he gathered up all the food of the seven years, which were in the land of Egypt, and laid up the food in the cities: the food of the field, which was round about every city, laid he up in the same.  And Joseph gathered corn as the sand of the sea, very much, until he left numbering; for it was without number.”

Normally a bumper crop means the farmers have more to sell and thus make more money by selling off the excess, leaving them with little extra for the following year.  Joseph gathered all the excess and saved it in large storage facilities for seven years.  They had more food stored than they could keep track of as a result of those seven years of bumper crops. 

Those seven good years were a time of happiness for Joseph, according to Genesis 41:50-52.  “And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.  And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house.  And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”  He got married and had two sons, naming them to reflect his happiness.  He was at peace with not being with his father, and he was getting a sense of worth from his work in Egypt.  He had learned to be content with what he had.  Although God had blessed him the entire time, he had not realized how he was blessed until this time.   

Conditions are constantly changing, and before long, the seven good years ended and the famine started.  Suddenly the importance of Joseph’s policies became apparent, in Genesis 41:53-57.  “And the seven years of plenteousness, that was in the land of Egypt, were ended.  And the seven years of dearth began to come, according as Joseph had said: and the dearth was in all lands; but in all the land of Egypt there was bread.  And when all the land of Egypt was famished, the people cried to Pharaoh for bread: and Pharaoh said unto all the Egyptians, Go unto Joseph; what he saith to you, do.  And the famine was over all the face of the earth: And Joseph opened all the storehouses, and sold unto the Egyptians; and the famine waxed sore in the land of Egypt.  And all countries came into Egypt to Joseph for to buy corn; because that the famine was so sore in all lands.”

The crops did not produce nearly enough to meet the needs for the year and they were forced to seek government help.  Joseph began selling the food he had collected back to the people.  People from the surrounding areas also came to Egypt seeking food.  One of the areas affected by the drought was Canaan, as Genesis 42:1-4 tells us.  “Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?  And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is corn in Egypt: get you down thither, and buy for us from thence; that we may live, and not die.  And Joseph's ten brethren went down to buy corn in Egypt.  But Benjamin, Joseph's brother, Jacob sent not with his brethren; for he said, Lest peradventure mischief befall him.”

The scarcity of food was causing conflict among Joseph’s brothers.  They were starting to watch each other to make sure no one took more than their share and it was worrying Jacob.  He sent them to Egypt to buy food, but he kept Benjamin at home so nothing would happen to him.  He was still favoring Rachel’s children over those of his other wives.  God would use the situation to work things out between Joseph and his brothers, but they had no idea what was happening at the time.  All they knew was they needed food. 

Free At Last

Two full years after Joseph had interpreted the butler and bakers dreams, Pharaoh had a troubling dream himself, as Genesis 41:1-4 describes.  “And it came to pass at the end of two full years, that Pharaoh dreamed: and, behold, he stood by the river.  And, behold, there came up out of the river seven well favoured kine and fatfleshed; and they fed in a meadow.  And, behold, seven other kine came up after them out of the river, ill favoured and leanfleshed; and stood by the other kine upon the brink of the river.  And the ill favoured and leanfleshed kine did eat up the seven well favoured and fat kine. So Pharaoh awoke.”

Pharaoh’s dream about skinny cows eating fat cows was a nightmare that woke him up.   Finally, he relaxed enough to go back to sleep, only to have another nightmare, this time of ears of corn eating each other, as Genesis 41:5-7 tells us.  “And he slept and dreamed the second time: and, behold, seven ears of corn came up upon one stalk, rank and good.  And, behold, seven thin ears and blasted with the east wind sprung up after them.  And the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and, behold, it was a dream. “ 

Convinced the dreams were important, Pharaoh contacted his political and economic advisors, the scientists, and the religious leaders in hopes someone could tell him what the dreams meant, as Genesis 41:8 tells us.  “And it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled; and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt, and all the wise men thereof: and Pharaoh told them his dream; but there was none that could interpret them unto Pharaoh.”   None of them were able to give him a definitive answer as to what they meant.

The butler was reminded of his experience in prison and he shared it with Pharaoh, in Genesis 41:9-13.  “Then spake the chief butler unto Pharaoh, saying, I do remember my faults this day: Pharaoh was wroth with his servants, and put me in ward in the captain of the guard's house, both me and the chief baker: And we dreamed a dream in one night, I and he; we dreamed each man according to the interpretation of his dream.  And there was there with us a young man, an Hebrew, servant to the captain of the guard; and we told him, and he interpreted to us our dreams; to each man according to his dream he did interpret.  And it came to pass, as he interpreted to us, so it was; me he restored unto mine office, and him he hanged.”  Two years before, the butler had probably been afraid to mention Joseph because he was not sure of his own position.

Pharaoh had regained his confidence in the butler, and had joseph brought in Genesis 41:14-15.  “Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh.  And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, I have dreamed a dream, and there is none that can interpret it: and I have heard say of thee, that thou canst understand a dream to interpret it.”

Joseph made it very clear it would not be him, but God who answered Pharaoh’s request.  Understanding that, Pharaoh proceded to describe his dreams to Joseph in Genesis 41:16-

“And Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, It is not in me: God shall give Pharaoh an answer of peace.

And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, In my dream, behold, I stood upon the bank of the river: And, behold, there came up out of the river seven kine, fatfleshed and well favoured; and they fed in a meadow: Ge 41:19 And, behold, seven other kine came up after them, poor and very ill favoured and leanfleshed, such as I never saw in all the land of Egypt for badness: And the lean and the ill favoured kine did eat up the first seven fat kine: And when they had eaten them up, it could not be known that they had eaten them; but they were still ill favoured, as at the beginning. So I awoke.

And I saw in my dream, and, behold, seven ears came up in one stalk, full and good: And, behold, seven ears, withered, thin, and blasted with the east wind, sprung up after them: And the thin ears devoured the seven good ears: and I told this unto the magicians; but there was none that could declare it to me.”

Joseph explained that both dreams meant the same thing, in Genesis 41:25-32.  “And Joseph said unto Pharaoh, The dream of Pharaoh is one: God hath showed Pharaoh what he is about to do.  The seven good kine are seven years; and the seven good ears are seven years: the dream is one.  And the seven thin and ill favoured kine that came up after them are seven years; and the seven empty ears blasted with the east wind shall be seven years of famine.

This is the thing which I have spoken unto Pharaoh: What God is about to do he showeth unto Pharaoh.  Behold, there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt: And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall consume the land; And the plenty shall not be known in the land by reason of that famine following; for it shall be very grievous.  And for that the dream was doubled unto Pharaoh twice; it is because the thing is established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass.” 

The fact that God had repeated himself meant that thei dream was very important.  Joseph proceeded to advise Pharaoh what to do to prepare for the dream’s fulfilment, in Genesis 41:33-36.  “Now therefore let Pharaoh look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.  Let Pharaoh do this, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years.  And let them gather all the food of those good years that come, and lay up corn under the hand of Pharaoh, and let them keep food in the cities.  And that food shall be for store to the land against the seven years of famine, which shall be in the land of Egypt; that the land perish not through the famine.”  By heeding the warning and making plans, Pharaoh could save Egypt from starvation and economic disaster when the famine came. 

Pharaoh considered it good advice and thought Joseph would be perfect for administering such a program, according to Genesis 41:37-46.  “And the thing was good in the eyes of Pharaoh, and in the eyes of all his servants.  And Pharaoh said unto his servants, Can we find such a one as this is, a man in whom the Spirit of God is?  And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Forasmuch as God hath showed thee all this, there is none so discreet and wise as thou art: Thou shalt be over my house, and according unto thy word shall all my people be ruled: only in the throne will I be greater than thou.

And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, See, I have set thee over all the land of Egypt.  And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck; And he made him to ride in the second chariot which he had; and they cried before him, Bow the knee: and he made him ruler over all the land of Egypt.

And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, I am Pharaoh, and without thee shall no man lift up his hand or foot in all the land of Egypt.  And Pharaoh called Joseph's name Zaphnathpaaneah; and he gave him to wife Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On. And Joseph went out over all the land of Egypt.  And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt.  And Joseph went out from the presence of Pharaoh, and went throughout all the land of Egypt.”

Joseph had been a slave and a prisoner for thirteen years.  Suddenly, in one day, he went from being a prisoner to being the Prime Minister of Egypt.  Though he had felt hopeless at times, God had not forgotten him.   God is with us just as much as he was with Joseph, and we don’t need to worry about things going wrong either.  Hebrews 13:5 tells us, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”   We need to just trust God, even when nothing seems to be happening.    

A Lost Hope

Joseph had gone from being the scion of a very rich family to being a slave imprisoned for a rape he didn’t commit, with no court of appeals or any way of proving his innocence.  With no one to fight for his release, he could well be stuck in prison for life.  He had chosen to make the best of it but it there didn’t seem to be much hope.

God had not forgotten him however.  In Genesis 40:1-4, God brought him into contact with two of Pharaoh’s staff.  “And it came to pass after these things, that the butler of the king of Egypt and his baker had offended their lord the king of Egypt.  And Pharaoh was wroth against two of his officers, against the chief of the butlers, and against the chief of the bakers.  And he put them in ward in the house of the captain of the guard, into the prison, the place where Joseph was bound.  And the captain of the guard charged Joseph with them, and he served them: and they continued a season in ward.” 

With no constitution to protect them, Pharaoh could sentence anyone to prison or death anytime he pleased, without even holding a trial.  His chief baker and the man responsible for making sure his food was safe and served properly had done something Pharaoh didn’t like so he had them sent to prison.  Joseph was the trustee responsible for their wellbeing.  They were incarcerated for several weeks. 

Often the things we think about during the day affect our dreams at night.  Prison life began to wear on the baker and the butler, affecting their dreams.  Since the Egyptians considered dreams as significant indicators of future events, their dreams bothered them even more than prison life, as we see in Genesis 40:5-8.  “And they dreamed a dream both of them, each man his dream in one night, each man according to the interpretation of his dream, the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt, which were bound in the prison.  And Joseph came in unto them in the morning, and looked upon them, and, behold, they were sad.  And he asked Pharaoh's officers that were with him in the ward of his lord's house, saying, Wherefore look ye so sadly to day?

And they said unto him, We have dreamed a dream, and there is no interpreter of it.”

They were upset because there was no one to tell them what their dreams meant.  Joseph said God what the dreams meant and asked them to tell about them.  The butler did as he asked, in Genesis 40:8b-11.  “And Joseph said unto them, Do not interpretations belong to God? tell me them, I pray you.

And the chief butler told his dream to Joseph, and said to him, In my dream, behold, a vine was before me; And in the vine were three branches: and it was as though it budded, and her blossoms shot forth; and the clusters thereof brought forth ripe grapes: And Pharaoh's cup was in my hand: and I took the grapes, and pressed them into Pharaoh's cup, and I gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand.”

Joseph explained that the butler’s dream meant he would be restored to his former position within three days.  He saw this as an opportunity to appeal his sentence, and asked the butler to mention him when he got his job back, in Genesis 40:12-15.  “And Joseph said unto him, This is the interpretation of it: The three branches are three days: Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thine head, and restore thee unto thy place: and thou shalt deliver Pharaoh's cup into his hand, after the former manner when thou wast his butler.  But think on me when it shall be well with thee, and show kindness, I pray thee, unto me, and make mention of me unto Pharaoh, and bring me out of this house: For indeed I was stolen away out of the land of the Hebrews: and here also have I done nothing that they should put me into the dungeon.”

Encouraged by the prophecy about the butler being restored to his position, the baker shared his dream in Genesis 40:16-18.  “When the chief baker saw that the interpretation was good, he said unto Joseph, I also was in my dream, and, behold, I had three white baskets on my head: And in the uppermost basket there was of all manner of bakemeats for Pharaoh; and the birds did eat them out of the basket upon my head.”  Though his dream was similar, the interpretation was not nearly as satisfactory as the butler’s, as Genesis 40:18 explains.  “And Joseph answered and said, This is the interpretation thereof: The three baskets are three days: Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thy head from off thee, and shall hang thee on a tree; and the birds shall eat thy flesh from off thee.”

Three days later, both interpretations were fulfilled, in Genesis 40:20-22.  “And it came to pass the third day, which was Pharaoh's birthday, that he made a feast unto all his servants: and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants.  And he restored the chief butler unto his butlership again; and he gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand: But he hanged the chief baker: as Joseph had interpreted to them.  Yet did not the chief butler remember Joseph, but forgat him.”

The butler got his job back and the baker was hanged.  Excited about getting his job back, the butler forgot about Joseph’s request and as a result, Joseph would not get a hearing for two more years.  It had been his only hope. 

Blessed By God In Spite Of Circumstances

Joseph had been sold as a slave to Midianite traders on their way to Egypt because of their hatred for him as a result of his father’s favoritism.  Genesis 39:1-6 describes his slavery.  “And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither.  And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.

And his master saw that the LORD was with him, and that the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand.  And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand.  And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field.  And he left all that he had in Joseph's hand; and he knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat. And Joseph was a goodly person, and well favoured.”

Joseph had gone from the position of the favorite son of a very rich man to being a slave in a foreign land, yet we are told God was with him, blessing everything he did.  His owner observed those blessings from God and began to take advantage of them, making Joseph his business manager.  As a result of his treatment of Joseph, the owner’s business was blessed.  He was able to devote his entire energy to his political and military interests. 

Satan can’t stand it when other people begin to recognize God is blessing his people for obedience.  He will do anything possible to destroy their reputation and testimony.  Genesis 39:7-12 describes how Satan tried to destroy Joseph morally  so that god would not bless him.  “And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.

But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; There is none greater in this house than I; either hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?  And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.  And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within.  And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.” 

Satan repeatedly used sexual temptation to destroy joseph morally.  When that didn’t work, he set out to destroy his reputation, in Genesis 39:13-20.  “And it came to pass, when she saw that he had left his garment in her hand, and was fled forth, That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice: And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out.  And she laid up his garment by her, until his lord came home.  And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me: And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out.

And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled.  And Joseph's master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king's prisoners were bound: and he was there in the prison.” 

Angry that he would not have sex with her, the woman deliberately lied and accused Joseph of trying to rape her, claiming she had fought and showing the coat he had slipped out of to get away as evidence.  Her husband believed her and had Joseph placed in prison, even though he had not done what he was accused of doing.  It must have felt like God had forsaken Joseph, but as 39:21-23 makes clear, he had not.  “But the LORD was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.  And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it.  The keeper of the prison looked not to any thing that was under his hand; because the LORD was with him, and that which he did, the LORD made it to prosper.”

Normally a slave would have been killed for attempting to rape a woman, without even a trial.  It was God who prevented Joseph from being killed.  God was with Joseph, blessing him in the prison just as he had blessed him as a slave.  Eventually, he was placed as the prison administrator, even though he was still a prisoner.  He was not confined to a cell but was free to go where ever he needed to go to fulfill his responsibilities.  He had earned the trust and respect of the warden thanks to God’s blessing.   Bad circumstances do not mean God is not blessing.  

Developing a Family Culture

Every person is responsible for their own actions, as we see in Romans 14:12.  “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”  God has given us the ability to make decisions for ourselves, so we cannot blame our parents or others for what we do.  At the same time, we must realize that one’s attitudes and way of thinking are strongly influenced the examples and teachings of those around him.  As a result, certain attitudes and behaviors tend to become part of the culture of a family or other group.   Jacob’s children developed much the same attitude that their parents had, as we’ve seen already.   It carries on over to the next generation as well.    

Genesis 38:6-10 tells about some of Jacob’s grandsons.  “And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.  And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.  And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.  And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.  And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.”

We have no idea what Er had done, but his attitude was so evil God killed him.  God had established a principle that it was the husband’s responsibility to provide for his wife.  Since people can die unexpectedly at any age, provision was made to for a wife’s support if something happened to her husband.  One of those provisions was the dowry given to her family for safe keeping.  Another way was for the husband’s family to take responsibility for supporting her, as prescribed in Deuteronomy 25:5-6.  “If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.  And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel.”  In such a case the first son would inherit the dead husband’s property and be considered his son. 

Onan had no problem accepting Tamar as his wife and having sex with her, but he didn’t want to have a son by her since it would be considered his brothers.  To prevent it, he practiced one of the original method of birth control, withdrawing before ejaculation.  As a result of his refusal to obey, God killed Onan as well.  Judah asked Tamar to stay with her parents until his youngest son, Shelah was old enough to marry, fearing he might die like his brothers had, in Genesis 38:11.  “Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.”

When Shelah grew up. Judah did not keep his promise to Tamar.  Learning that Judah’s wife had died, Tamar took action to get Judah to take the family’s responsibility for her, in Genesis 38:12-14.  “And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.  And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep.  And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.”

Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute, deliberately covering her face so she wouldn’t be recognized and sat where Judah was sure to see her.  Since his wife was dead, he had no hesitation about propositioning her for sex, despite the many prohibitions, as we see in Genesis 38:15-23.  “When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face.  And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.)

And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?

And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock.

And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it?

And he said, What pledge shall I give thee?

 And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him.  And she arose, and went away, and laid by her veil from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.

And Judah sent the kid by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive his pledge from the woman's hand: but he found her not.  Then he asked the men of that place, saying, Where is the harlot, that was openly by the way side?

And they said, There was no harlot in this place.

And he returned to Judah, and said, I cannot find her; and also the men of the place said, that there was no harlot in this place.

And Judah said, Let her take it to her, lest we be shamed: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her.”

About three months later, Judah learned Tamar was pregnant, in Genesis 38:24-25.  “And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.  When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, Discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.

Technically, Tamar was engaged to be married to Shelah, but Judah had not followed through on the agreement.  Under the Law, if an engaged woman indulged in sex with someone other than her intended, both the man and the woman were to be executed, according to Deuteronomy 22:23-24.  “If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.” 

Because she had the proof of who the father was, Judah was forced to admit he was guilty as well, and acknowledge it was his fault she had taken such action, in Genesis 38:26.  “And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more.”   Neither Judah nor his sons took God’s commands seriously, partly because that is the example that they had set before them.  . 

Selling Their Brother Out

Jacob’s favoritism toward Jacob caused serious resentment by his brothers.   The favoritism also resulted in Joseph’s feeling superior and becoming a tattletale.  When Jacob sent him out to check on his brothers, they expected him to try to get them into trouble.  Genesis 37:18-20 describes their response.  “And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him.  And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.  Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.” 

For years, Jacob had tried to cheat Laban, and when they had murdered the people of Shechem, he was not concerned about the murders, but only about what people would think.  Effectively, he had taught them that the only thing that mattered was that you did not get caught.  The brothers concluded that Murdering Joseph would be okay as long as Jacob never found out what they had done.   Jacob never thought about what he was teaching his children by his actions. 

Reuben, the eldest had grown up with the constant bickering between Jacob’s wives, often finding himself in the middle of the fights, and probably blaming himself for them.  Whatever happens, he expected to get the blame, but he knew how cruel his brothers could be.  Genesis 37:21-22 tells us he tried to prevent the murder, but didn’t dare confront his brothers directly,  “And Reuben heard it, and he delivered him out of their hands; and said, Let us not kill him.  And Reuben said unto them, Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit that is in the wilderness, and lay no hand upon him; that he might rid him out of their hands, to deliver him to his father again. “  He told them that if they just left Joseph in a pit he would starve but that they could honestly say they had not killed him.  He didn’t tell them he planned to later rescue Joseph and send home. 

The brothers agreed follow Reuben’s suggestion, but they still wanted to get rid of Joseph, as we see in Genesis 37:23- 28.  “And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stripped Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him; And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.  And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of Ishmeelites came from Gilead with their camels bearing spicery and balm and myrrh, going to carry it down to Egypt.

And Judah said unto his brethren, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?  Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmeelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.  Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.”  They then set down to eat, ignoring the fact that their own brother was trapped in a pit and was to die there.  When they spotted a bunch of traders passing by, they decided to sell joseph as a slave and make a little profit while getting rid of him. 

Reuben had remained with the herds while the others ate.  Later he returned to the pit with the intent of freeing Joseph, as Genesis 37:29-30 describes.  “And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes.   And he returned unto his brethren, and said, The child is not; and I, whither shall I go?”  As the eldest, he expected he would be blamed.  His brothers did not tell him they had sold Joseph or share the money with him.   For years, he would feel guilty for not having saved Joseph.

Believing Joseph was dead, he went along with their efforts to cover up the crime, as described in Genesis 37:31-34.  “And they took Joseph's coat, and killed a kid of the goats, and dipped the coat in the blood; And they sent the coat of many colours, and they brought it to their father; and said, This have we found: know now whether it be thy son's coat or no.

And he knew it, and said, It is my son's coat; an evil beast hath devoured him; Joseph is without doubt rent in pieces.  And Jacob rent his clothes, and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for his son many days.” 

By letting Jacob identify the clothing and come to his own conclusions, the brothers were able to divert suspicion from themselves.   To further allay suspicion, they made a big show of mourning for Joseph according to Genesis 37:35-36.  “And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said, For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning. Thus his father wept for him.  And the Midianites sold him into Egypt unto Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh's, and captain of the guard.”   Reuben was the only one who wasn’t faking his sorrow because he didn’t know what had happened.   The others only pretended to care how their father felt.