II Samuel 19:1-15
“And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom. And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son. And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son! ” (II Samuel 19:1-4)
The people knew that David had given orders not to hurt Absalom, and they knew how he had been killed. Seeing how badly David felt about it, the people were embarrassed to be part of the murder and snuck home in shame, while David continued to grieve.
“And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.
Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto thy servants: for I swear by the LORD, if thou go not forth, there will not tarry one with thee this night: and that will be worse unto thee than all the evil that befell thee from thy youth until now.” (II Samuel 19:5-7)
The people could understand David’s grief over the death of his son. After a while, however, they began to feel that David cared more about Absalom than he did about the country. Joab warned that if he didn’t make it clear he appreciated their efforts to save his life, the people would begin to turn away and find somebody else to be king. If that happened, there would be nobody to support him.
“Then the king arose, and sat in the gate. And they told unto all the people, saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate. And all the people came before the king: for Israel had fled every man to his tent.” (II Samuel 19:8)
Following Joab’s advice, David went back out into public, personally meeting the people. The people heard that he was making himself available again, and showing interest in them. They responded by coming to meet him and share their condolences.
“And all the people were at strife throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, The king saved us out of the hand of our enemies, and he delivered us out of the hand of the Philistines; and now he is fled out of the land for Absalom. And Absalom, whom we anointed over us, is dead in battle. Now therefore why speak ye not a word of bringing the king back?” (II Samuel 19:9-10)
David did not just declare himself king. He waited, and before long the people began to want to make him king officially again. They acknowledged what David had done in the past, and that in making Absalom king they had stripped David of his power. With Absalom dead, they really had no king and felt that they needed to make it official again.
“And king David sent to Zadok and to Abiathar the priests, saying, Speak unto the elders of Judah, saying, Why are ye the last to bring the king back to his house? seeing the speech of all Israel is come to the king, even to his house. Ye are my brethren, ye are my bones and my flesh: wherefore then are ye the last to bring back the king?” (II Samuel 19:11-12)
David was of the tribe of Judah, and they had been the first to receive him as king after Saul’s death, but their leaders had been some of those suckered into supporting Absalom. With all Israel wanting David to be named as king, he asked what was holding him back.
”And say ye to Amasa, Art thou not of my bone, and of my flesh? God do so to me, and more also, if thou be not captain of the host before me continually in the room of Joab.” (II Samuel 19:13)
David knew Joab had deliberately disobeyed his command and murdered Absalom out of a desire for revenge. He had also murdered Abner, even though Abner was trying to support their cause. Clearly, Joab was more concerned with his own agenda than he was with David’s plans or what was right, so he decided to replace him with Amasa. Amasa was another of David’s cousins and could be expected to be as loyal as Joab.
“And he bowed the heart of all the men of Judah, even as the heart of one man; so that they sent this word unto the king, Return thou, and all thy servants. So the king returned, and came to Jordan. And Judah came to Gilgal, to go to meet the king, to conduct the king over Jordan.” (II Samuel 19:14-15)
Apparently, Judah had been holding off, fearing David had turned against them for supporting Absalom. His comments made it clear he held no grudges, and they immediately turned to support him, asking him to take back the throne. They met David at the Jordan river to escort him across the river and back into Judah.
Christians have a responsibility not to initiate conflict and separation in marriage. They also have a responsibility to reach out to others in an effort to reconcile their differences, regardless of who has done wrong. Many times their pride or sense of guilt keeps people from taking action they want or know they need to take. By reaching out to them, we can take away the constraints, but like David, we have to wait until they are ready. It cannot be forced.
“And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom. And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son. And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son! ” (II Samuel 19:1-4)
The people knew that David had given orders not to hurt Absalom, and they knew how he had been killed. Seeing how badly David felt about it, the people were embarrassed to be part of the murder and snuck home in shame, while David continued to grieve.
“And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.
Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto thy servants: for I swear by the LORD, if thou go not forth, there will not tarry one with thee this night: and that will be worse unto thee than all the evil that befell thee from thy youth until now.” (II Samuel 19:5-7)
The people could understand David’s grief over the death of his son. After a while, however, they began to feel that David cared more about Absalom than he did about the country. Joab warned that if he didn’t make it clear he appreciated their efforts to save his life, the people would begin to turn away and find somebody else to be king. If that happened, there would be nobody to support him.
“Then the king arose, and sat in the gate. And they told unto all the people, saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate. And all the people came before the king: for Israel had fled every man to his tent.” (II Samuel 19:8)
Following Joab’s advice, David went back out into public, personally meeting the people. The people heard that he was making himself available again, and showing interest in them. They responded by coming to meet him and share their condolences.
“And all the people were at strife throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, The king saved us out of the hand of our enemies, and he delivered us out of the hand of the Philistines; and now he is fled out of the land for Absalom. And Absalom, whom we anointed over us, is dead in battle. Now therefore why speak ye not a word of bringing the king back?” (II Samuel 19:9-10)
David did not just declare himself king. He waited, and before long the people began to want to make him king officially again. They acknowledged what David had done in the past, and that in making Absalom king they had stripped David of his power. With Absalom dead, they really had no king and felt that they needed to make it official again.
“And king David sent to Zadok and to Abiathar the priests, saying, Speak unto the elders of Judah, saying, Why are ye the last to bring the king back to his house? seeing the speech of all Israel is come to the king, even to his house. Ye are my brethren, ye are my bones and my flesh: wherefore then are ye the last to bring back the king?” (II Samuel 19:11-12)
David was of the tribe of Judah, and they had been the first to receive him as king after Saul’s death, but their leaders had been some of those suckered into supporting Absalom. With all Israel wanting David to be named as king, he asked what was holding him back.
”And say ye to Amasa, Art thou not of my bone, and of my flesh? God do so to me, and more also, if thou be not captain of the host before me continually in the room of Joab.” (II Samuel 19:13)
David knew Joab had deliberately disobeyed his command and murdered Absalom out of a desire for revenge. He had also murdered Abner, even though Abner was trying to support their cause. Clearly, Joab was more concerned with his own agenda than he was with David’s plans or what was right, so he decided to replace him with Amasa. Amasa was another of David’s cousins and could be expected to be as loyal as Joab.
“And he bowed the heart of all the men of Judah, even as the heart of one man; so that they sent this word unto the king, Return thou, and all thy servants. So the king returned, and came to Jordan. And Judah came to Gilgal, to go to meet the king, to conduct the king over Jordan.” (II Samuel 19:14-15)
Apparently, Judah had been holding off, fearing David had turned against them for supporting Absalom. His comments made it clear he held no grudges, and they immediately turned to support him, asking him to take back the throne. They met David at the Jordan river to escort him across the river and back into Judah.
Christians have a responsibility not to initiate conflict and separation in marriage. They also have a responsibility to reach out to others in an effort to reconcile their differences, regardless of who has done wrong. Many times their pride or sense of guilt keeps people from taking action they want or know they need to take. By reaching out to them, we can take away the constraints, but like David, we have to wait until they are ready. It cannot be forced.
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