To Experience God’s Love

 Several years ago, a young couple came for counselling.  The wife was angry that her husband didn’t take her out to nice places to eat like he did when they were dating.  As we talked to them, we learned that while she didn’t have a job, she refused to cook or do house work because it was her husband’s place to take care of her.  She didn’t like his cooking and insisted they go out to eat every meal.  Eating out that often, all he could afford was the value menu at places like MacDonald’s and she wanted something nicer.   It never occurred to her that her refusal to cook or help with the housework made it impossible for him to take her to nicer places.  Her selfishness was destroying their relationship.   While most people do not go to that extreme, that same selfish attitude is at the root of every divorce. 

Unfortunately, many Christians have a similar selfish attitude toward God, making no effort to please him or build their relationship.  Eventually they become very dissatisfied with the relationship and many turn away, feeling God has not kept his promise.   They do not recognize that the failure is theirs, nor do they understand what they are missing by their selfish attitude. 

 John 14:15-20 promises, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.  And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.  I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.  Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.  At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.  He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”

When we fall in love with God, we begin to do what he wants, to obey is commands because we want to, rather than because we feel like we have to.  Our own goals and desires become less important than what the Lord wants, just as they do in a loving relationship.  Just as the woman in the story above was preventing her husband from being able to do the things she wanted, when we are resentful of pleasing God, we may prevent him from showing his love for us.  When we begin to want to please him, we free him to demonstrate his love freely. 

When we are grouchy and resentful, our mates tend to emotionally withdraw because nothing they do pleases us, but when we are happy and loving, they want to spend time with us.  In the same way, when we are complaining and resentful toward God, the Holy Spirit withdraws into a corner and we do not feel his presence, even though he is still there.  When we are happy and loving toward him, he draws close to us in ways other never experience. 

The disciples struggled with this concept just as we do.  In John 14:22, “Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?”  Judas was concerned as to how their relationship to God would be different from that of the rest of the world.  It was much like a person wanting to know their relationship to their husband or wife will be closer than the mate’s relationship to other people.  Jesus responded in John 14:23.  “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” 

If we love him we will want to do what pleases him.  God loves us immensely, and when we love him enough to obey, he can show that love in a way that we can enjoy.  When we are disobedient, he is forced to show that love in ways that seem less loving, just as a parent who loves his children may be forced to show his love by punishing them for doing things they shouldn’t.  If we want to have the richest possible Christian life, it will be necessary for us to learn to love him enough to put him ahead of our own plans and desires.