Monday, July 8, 2019

The Hazards of Ignoring Other People’s Opinions


After Absalom’s death, David had contacted the tribe of Judah, many of whom were his own relatives, asking why they were not seeking to reinstate him as king, as we saw in II Samuel 19:11.  As a result, the tribe of Judah declared him king without consulting with the other tribes, believing most of the people supported the idea.  Although they wanted to reinstate David as king, the other tribes resented not being asked or allowed to participate, leading to conflict as II Samuel 19:41-43 tells us.   “And, behold, all the men of Israel came to the king, and said unto the king, Why have our brethren the men of Judah stolen thee away, and have brought the king, and his household, and all David's men with him, over Jordan?

And all the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, Because the king is near of kin to us: wherefore then be ye angry for this matter? have we eaten at all of the king's cost? or hath he given us any gift?

And the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, and said, We have ten parts in the king, and we have also more right in David than ye: why then did ye despise us, that our advice should not be first had in bringing back our king? And the words of the men of Judah were fiercer than the words of the men of Israel.”

Just taking the time to get the other people involved would have prevented the entire conflict.  While Judah won the argument and got their way, it left the people divided and gave opportunity for someone else to take over, as II Samuel 20:1-tells us.  “And there happened to be there a man of Belial, whose name was Sheba, the son of Bichri, a Benjamite: and he blew a trumpet, and said, We have no part in David, neither have we inheritance in the son of Jesse: every man to his tents, O Israel.  So every man of Israel went up from after David, and followed Sheba the son of Bichri: but the men of Judah clave unto their king, from Jordan even to Jerusalem.”   

By acting unilaterally without consulting the others, the Tribe of Judah disrespected the others making them feel unwanted and unwelcome.  They chose to follow Sheba in hopes he would care about them.  The same thing happens in modern business, in churches and in homes when oneparty acts without consulting the others, and often leads to business breakups, church splits and divorces.   Right now the United States is in turmoil because of politicians who refuse to consider other people’s opinions.   

Though David understood Absalom had raped his concubines, and it was not their fault, David was never able to completely overcome the emotional impact or go back to way things had been before between them, as we see in II Samuel 20:3.  “And David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten women his concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put them in ward, and fed them, but went not in unto them. So they were shut up unto the day of their death, living in widowhood.” Neither logic nor forgiveness can completely eliminate the emotional effects of things that happen.  Although time allows the wounds to heal, the scars and pain frequently remain for a long time.

Although Absalom was dead, the effects of his rebellion aginst David were still being felt, both politically and in David’s home.  Many times we don’t realize all of the effects of certain events until years in the future, or how wide spread those effects may be.  How we handle the effects initially can make them even worse. 

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