The Surgical Team

Ephesians 5:22-32

A year or so ago, the news reported the surgical separation of conjoined twins. A special team of doctors was assembled to do the surgery. Each doctor was a specialist in a particular area of medicine. All of the doctors were the best in their field.

One doctor was the lead doctor. He was to coordinate the actions of all the others. All the others submitted themselves to his leadership because they understood that every aspect of the job was critical. It was necessary that every part be done in the best way possible, if the patients were to survive. By dividing the responsibilities, it would be possible to do the job. Without the team, it would not.

Any of the doctors who insisted on having their own way, whether the lead doctor, or one of the assisting doctors, risked killing the patient. Each one had to voluntarily give up some of their pride and authority for the good of the patient. The lead doctor must leave the others free to do their job, while helping them to coordinate their work so that each is able to accomplish this part effectively.

By enabling each doctor to focus on their specialties, and trust the others to take care of other things, the chances of successful surgery are greatly improved. No doctor is distracted by something he is unskilled at, and no doctor is carrying an undue burden.

A lead doctor, on the other hand, who shows no respect for the skills of the others, and dictates each action of the other doctors, may cause distraction, lack of focus, or rebellion, resulting in mistakes, or even one of the assisting surgeons refusing to continue. He may cause death or permanent harm to the patient. He has the assistants because he needs their skills to do the job. He is a fool if he refuses to utilize their skill to prove his power. He will deserve any lawsuit that results.

The assisting surgeon is a prime example of the helpmeet mentioned in Genesis 2. They have complementary skills to the lead surgeon, being strong in areas where he is weak. They voluntarily allow him to lead, for the benefit of the patient, though they may well be more skilled than the lead doctor in some areas. This is the concept of submission of the wife to her husband.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Like the lead surgeon, The husband bears primary responsibility for the success of the surgery. He is to facilitate and coordinate his and his wife’s work so that she is enabled to do her job in the best way possible, with her skills. Sometimes he will need to assist her, or seek her input to because she is better qualified in certain areas than he is . He also needs to share the purpose of his decisions so she can be successful in assisting him. Christ freed us to serve him, not dictating the details, and the husband needs to free his wife in the same way. He needs to see her as an equal, because as Galatians 3:28 tells us, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.” (Ephesians 5:25-29)

The husbands life ought to result in his providing for her to be the best she possibly can. This includes respect for her skills and abilities, and taking them into account, as I Peter 3:7 describes. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” Failure to do so interferes with spiritual development of both husband and wife.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the virtuous woman. This submissive wife is free to make financial decisions, such as buying land, or running a business. She makes decisions about clothing and food for her family, and fixes herself up in an attractive manner, and has time to help others. It is the responsibility of the husband to respect her abilities in these areas, and as a result of his love, help her to be her best at them. Because she frees him from certain details, he is able to reach out and be involved in a larger circle as well, gaining respect and authority himself. In her submission to him, she adapts her efforts to further the primary goal of a home that is pleasing to God.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:31-33)

Both husband and wife are to respect each other as equals, She is not to worship him, nor he her. As children in the parents homes, they were both inferior in position. Leaving home, they become equals, as part of each other. Realizing that, think what our position as joint heirs and the body of Christ means. What a picture!

Controlling behavior, nagging, rudeness and criticism are indications of a lack of respect, and have no place in a Godly home, by husband, wife, or children.