Letting Children Come

“Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.  But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.  And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence.” (Matthew 19:13-15)

Several years ago, while on deputation, I was shocked at the number of campgrounds that did not allow children because the older people did not want to be disturbed.  When I looked around, I found that many neighborhood associations and apartments had similar policies.  I met grandparents who told me they rented a single bedroom apartment so that they would not have to put up with their grandkids overnight.  Hundreds of young women postpone having children, because they do not want anything to interfere with their career, and those who have children put them in daycare or hire babysitters as soon as possible so that they can enjoy their career.  Thousands of women have abortions because a child would interfere with their education or chosen lifestyle.  With such an attitude toward children, it is not surprising that so many of them have a selfish and rebellious attitude.

Sadly, the same attitude has come into the church.  Several years ago, I started a bus route to a small community to pick up kids for church because the pastor of a church in the community had told the people the children were too disruptive and should not be brought.  A rather famous pastor told the people not to bring children into the main service because they might cause a disturbance and quench the spirit.  Many times children’s church programs are primarily for keeping the kids from causing a disturbance.  As a result, the kids do not feel like they are an important part of the church and drop out when they start high school or college. 

Jesus was very specific in stating that the children were to be allowed to come along with the adults.  While we may assume they get very little out of it, Jesus said, “for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”  Though they may seem to pay little attention, it is amazing how much they pick up, and they are strongly influenced by the attitudes of the adults around them.   As a child, I remember feeling very important to be allowed to accompany my dad to a meeting even though I had little interest in the meeting at the time, and years later being allowed to go had a tremendous influence on my development as a pastor and missionary.  There need to be times when the children sit with the adults and learn they are part of the church, and the adults need to learn to show consideration for them as Romans 15:1 tells us.  “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”  The adults ought to be mature enough to overlook or deal with a little childish behavior.   The Holy Spirit is God, and if a child is able to quench the spirit and prevent him from working the spirit involved must not be the Holy Spirit.  Jesus said we are not to forbid them to come.  When we become so selfish we cannot bear to have little children around we are definitely not walking in the Spirit or showing God’s love. 

Divorce and Remarriage

The Old Testament Law Had given very specific guidelines about marriage and divorce.  Over the centuries, the Jews had developed various schools of interpretation of that Law, leading to confusion as to what it actually meant.  The Pharisees hoped to use that confusion to entrap Jesus, in Matthew 19:3.  “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”  Essentially, they were asking the question many ask today, as to what are the acceptable grounds for a divorce for those who serve God. 

In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus answered the question by referring to God’s creation of mankind and the institution of marriage in Genesis 2.  “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” 

Contrary to popular religious or legal practice, a marriage is not the result of a legal or religious ceremony.  It is the result of God joining the man and woman together, and I Corinthians 6:16 makes it very clear this is accomplished through the sex act, even if is with a prostitute.  “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”  Since is is an act of God, no human entity, whether government, religious organization, parents, or the couple themselves have the right to break that marriage. 

Just as they do today, people were using all kinds of excuses for getting divorces because the Law had allowed it in certain instances.  If divorce was never acceptable, as Jesus said, the Pharisees wanted to know why the law permitted it, as Matthew 19:7 tells us.  “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?” 

Jesus was very specific that divorce is never God’s will in Matthew 19:8-9.  “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  Because of man’s sinful rebellious nature the law permitted divorce under certain conditions, but it was never God’s intention.  Malachi 2:16 is very clear that God hates divorce.  “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…”   Because people deliberately do wicked things there are times when divorce can be overlooked, as for example when the mate is physically abusive. 

He went on to say that if they separated for any reason other than a sexual affair by their mate, to remarry makes them an adulterer or adulteress, and the one who marries them is also an adulterer.  This is exactly the same thing he said in Matthew 5:32.  “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”  The separation exposes one’s mate to temptation, and one needs to realize they will be held accountable for tempting their mate.

Please understand that the word translated divorce refers solely to what we call a legal separation.  Before God, they are still married according to Romans 7:2-3.   “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.   So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”  Based on these facts, I Corinthians 7:10-11 is very clear.  “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”  Incompatibility, an emotional affair, or even abuse does not free one to remarry. 

This teaching is unpopular today, and even Jesus’ disciples were bothered by it, according to Matthew 19:10.  “His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.”  Jesus went on to explain that not everyone will be able to live up to this standard, in Matthew 19:11-12.  “But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”  Some people will marry an abusive mate or one who is determined to get divorce, and be forced to violate it, while others will simply lack the commitment.  Those who live up to this standard are to be commended, not condemned or considered abnormal because they put God first.

Forgiving Others

Many Christians find it hard to forgive others, because they seem to do the same things over and over.  Peter was struggling with the same things, in Matthew 18:21.  “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?”   Surely, to repeat the action seven times indicates he really doesn’t intend to change.   Unfortunately, we often forget how hard it is for people to break bad habits.  It may take them far longer than that to break the habit, as Jesus pointed out in Matthew 18:22.  “Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”  Essentially, Jesus is saying we should not be trying to keep track.  Jesus then used a parable to demonstrate the reasons behind such forgiveness, In Matthew 18:23-32. 

 “Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.  And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.  But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.  The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.  Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.  And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.  Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?  And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.”

The first employee owed ten thousand talents.  A talent is about seventy pounds, so he owed seven hundred thousand pounds, probably of silver to his master.  It would amount to more than a hundred sixty million dollars at today’s prices for silver.  Though his boss had the right to take everything he owned and garnish his wages until the debt was paid, he agreed to drop his claim because the servant asked for mercy.   

The employee then filed a suit against a man who owed him about two hundred dollars, insisting that his property be seized and his wages garnished until he was paid off.   The other employees complained that the first one could get by with not repaying a hundred sixty million dollars yet would file criminal charges over a measly two hundred dollars that was owed to him.  His boss agreed and reinstated his claim against the employee, taking his belongings and garnishing his wages until the debt was paid.  Obviously, he wasn’t willing to extend the same courtesy to others that he had been given.  Matthew 18:35 warns, “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”  Jesus is simply saying we should not expect God to treat us better than we treat others. 

He has forgiven us for every sin we committed, and we ought to forgive others just as completely as he has forgiven us.  If we refuse, it because we are not willing to admit how much sin he had to forgive.  Like the servant, all we cared about was getting out of trouble, not about doing what was right.  Salvation is the result of a changed heart attitude, not just saying you’re sorry.   

Wayward Sheep

People tend to judge and put down others in an effort to make themselves look better and support their pride.  Jesus had just warned about the consequences of judging and turning others away.  In Matthew 18:11 he reminded them, “For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”  It was the same thing he had told them in Matthew 9:11-13.  “And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?

But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. Mt 9:13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”  Jesus did come to help those who were without fault.  He came to help those who were messed up and unable to help themselves.  These are the ones who realize their need and want his help.  He used another parable to help them understand what he meant, in Matthew 18:12-14. 

“How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?  And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.  Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.” 

To a good shepherd, every sheep matters, and a lost one is a serious matter.  If he realizes one is missing, he will make sure the others are safe, then go out and search for the lost one.  If he finds it safe, he will be more excited about having recovered it than he is about the ninety nine who were safe, because he cares just as much for its safety as for any of the others.  In the same way, Christ cares about that one who isn’t doing as well just as much as for those who are.  When we drive them away, we grieve him.  As he described in the parable of the tares and the wheat, sometimes it is better to just let them stay in the church until it is clear whether they are of God or of Satan. 

With this in mind, Jesus gave specific instructions as to how we should deal with people who are not doing w3hat is right, in Matthew 18:15-18.  “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.  Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

If someone is doing something that is not right and brings a reproach on the church, we should go to them privately first, because it is entirely possible they do not realize they are doing anything wrong, or that they need some help stopping.  If that resolves the problem it should not go any further.  He is trying to do what is right.  If the person doesn’t make any effort to change, then we should take two or three others with us to make it clear it not just our opinion but is in fact something that is truly wrong.  If he still makes no effort to change, then we are to bring him before the church as a whole to see if peer pressure will make him reconsider what he is doing.  If he doesn’t care what the church or God says about his actions we are to treat him like any unsaved person with no interest in God, because they may not be saved.  We are not to shun them. 

This does not contradict Paul’s teaching in I Corinthians 5.  The man described thare was doing something that even the unbelievers in Corinth considered unacceptable.  The man clearly knew what he was doing was unacceptable, and refused to stop.  At that point, they had no choice but to exclude him from the church if he refused to listen, in hopes it would get his attention.   Even the goal is to get him to acknowledge his sin and make changes, not just to get him out of the church.  Failure to follow the steps usually defeats the purpose of church discipline.  We need to do it the way Christ commanded so that we don’t lose any of God’s sheep. 

Spiritual Competition

Thanks to Adam’s and Eve’s sin in the garden, survival on earth became much harder, with mankind having to work to get their food.  As a result of that sin mankind’s nature changed, and they became selfish.  Competition for food or mate or control of an area became part of the human experience, and today competition is apparent in almost everything people do.  They may compete for jobs, for mates, for housing, for fame, or political power, for sports championships, or for control of a gang, a business, or a religious organization.  

As we see in Matthew 18:1, Jesus disciples still had that same competitive nature.  “At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  Mark 9:33-34 tells us there had been some argument over who would be the greatest.   “And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?  But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest.”  They asked Jesus who would be the greatest in heaven.   It was like asking what the rules were so they could know how to win. 

His answer in Matthew 18:2-4 completely destroys the idea of competition.  “And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.  Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”  He said that unless one was changed, developing an attitude like a little child, a person would not even get into heaven.  The greatest one would be the one with the most childlike attitude.    At first the child has no hesitation about sharing, but as he grows he becomes increasingly selfish and self-willed.   The greatest in heaven will be those who are least concerned about themselves and their own benefit. 

With our competitive attitudes, we begin to set some above others, picking some for our team and ignoring others.  In Matthew 18:5-7 Jesus warned against such an attitude.  “And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.  Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” 

They are God’s people.  If we accept them as such, we are honoring God.  When we refuse to accept them, and turn them away, we dishonor God.  Paul addressed this same issue in I Corinthians 12.  In I Corinthians 12:18-23, he wrote, “ But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.  And if they were all one member, where were the body?  But now are they many members, yet but one body.  And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.   Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.”

God places the members in the local church according to his plan.  When we begin to treat them as inferior or drive them away, we indicate we are better qualified to decide who should be in the church than He is, and we will face his Judgment for the way we have offended them.  People are going to get offended and turn away from time to time, but we need to make sure we are not causing them to.  Romans 14:12-13 reminds us, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.  Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.”   We need to remember God is the judge and we will be judged for our own actions.  

Instead of judging others, we need to judge ourselves, as Matthew 18:8-11makes very clear.  “Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.  And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.  Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.  For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”

Christ came to save those who were lost.  He is going to hold those who hinder people accountable for hindering them.  It would be better to eliminate anything you cannot bring under control, whether it is a wandering eye, looking at other men or women; an addiction to porn; covetousness; addiction to alcohol or drugs leading you to bars or dealers or whatever else it might be, including your attitude toward other Christians, even if it requires a physical action such as amputating a leg or removing one’s eyes to stop.    Forget about competing with others, and concentrate on pleasing God yourself, making sure you are pleasing to him.    

Christianity and Earthly Laws

Many times laws are passed that people are uncomfortable with for one reason or another.  At what point should a Christian refuse to obey the law?  Matthew 17:24-26 addresses this issue.  “And when they were come to Capernaum, they that received tribute money came to Peter, and said, Doth not your master pay tribute?

He saith, Yes.

And when he was come into the house, Jesus prevented him, saying, What thinkest thou, Simon? of whom do the kings of the earth take custom or tribute? of their own children, or of strangers?

Peter saith unto him, Of strangers.

Jesus saith unto him, Then are the children free.  Notwithstanding, lest we should offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee.” 

Under Roman law Territories outside Rome were required to pay tribute to support the Roman military and government for their region.  Citizens of Rome were largely exempt from this tribute.   Most Jews resented paying the Roman taxes and many refused to pay.   The tax collectors asked Peter if Jesus paid taxes.  Peter wasn’t sure, but he answered yes, not wishing to get Jesus into trouble. 

When he came into the house, Jesus stopped him, asking whether he thought rulers would be more likely to collect taxes from their own supporters and family, or from people from other lands doing business in a country.  It was obvious to Peter that the primary taxes would be made against foreigners who benefitted from living in the country.  The king’s own children and people around him serve as his representatives and ambassadors, receiving the benefit of the taxes he collects. 

The king’s ambassadors and representatives are responsible for promoting good relations between the king’s government and the people around them, and obeying the laws or paying the taxes would greatly improve such relationships.  Ambassadors who refuse to obey the countries laws may have their diplomatic immunity revoked and be forced to leave the country.  Their sending country may revoke their diplomatic immunity and allow them to be prosecuted for their crimes in an effort to preserve a peaceful relationship between the countries and promote cooperation.

Christians are God’s children, and they are his representatives  to the world.  To promote peace between God and the people on earth, it is necessary Christians show respect to the people of the world, obeying the same laws they obey.  It is with this in mind that Paul wrote Romans 13:1-7. 

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.  Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.  For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.

Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.  For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.  Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”

While God is ultimate ruler of the universe, he has authorized worldly governments.  As his children, we are to respect the authority he has given them, obeying the laws they have made.  We have not been granted diplomatic immunity, and they have the authority to enforce those laws.  We should obey the laws because it is the right thing to do and God has commanded us obey, not because we fear the punishment.   If we refuse, we are defying God. 

The only time we have the right to disobey the law is when the law clearly violates God’s commands, in which case, as Acts 5:29 states, “…We ought to obey God rather than men.”   We do not have the right to disobey because it contradicts our convictions or offends our conscience.  Our convictions or our conscience are not to be our God.

Powerful Faith

When Jesus went up on the mount of transfiguration, nine of his disciples had been left behind.  Because they were his disciples, the people came to them for help.  Matthew 17:14-16 describes what had happened.  “And when they were come to the multitude, there came to him a certain man, kneeling down to him, and saying, Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is a lunatic, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water.  And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him.” 

Everyone, including the disciples had expected them to be able to cast out the demon, because when the twelve went out they had been excited about being able to cast out demons.  The father of the child was really concerned that they could not do it, and asked Jesus if he could help him.  He was concerned that the boy was insane and frequently did self- destructive things.  Sooner or later he would probably die of one of them. 

Jesus wondered how long it would be before they finally believed in him.   He had no problem healing the child, in Matthew 17:17-18.   “Then Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him hither to me.  And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.”  He was frustrated that the people had no doubt of his power cast out demons and heal the child, yet refused to believe he was the Messiah.   What would it take to convince them?  

“Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.  Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.” (Matthew 17:19-21)

The disciples were concerned that they had been unable to cast out this demon when others had been no problem.  Jesus responded that the problem was a lack of faith on their part.  Even a small amount of faith would enable them to do anything.   Jesus was not scolding them for the lack of faith, but pointed out that such faith can only be obtained through prayer and fasting. 

Unfortunately most people are more concerned with casting out the demon or obtaining a desired result than they are with growing their faith.  As a result they fast and pray trying to get God to act.  Their fasting becomes no more than a hunger strike in an attempt to force God to give in, and their prayers are just nagging, in an attempt to wear him down. 

Isaiah 58:5-9 forbids fasting to try to get God to do something.  “Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.  Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?  Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?  Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.  Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity.” 

Fasting that pleases God is focused on getting to know him better and doing what he has commanded.   The parable of the unjust Judge points out that God is not like the unjust judge and does not need to be nagged to get a response.  When we pray in such a manner, it is because we lack faith, as we see in Matthew 6:7-8, and our praying becomes sinful.  “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.  Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”   I John 5:14-15 tells us, “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” 

When our prayers and fasting are focused on getting to know the Lord rather than on getting what we want, then the Holy Spirit produces faith in us that can face any challenge.   When we only pray for results, our faith does not grow.