David’s Son Follows His Example

When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, he already had six wives and several children by them.  After he became king in Jerusalem, he had nine other boys by them, as well as four by Bathsheba.  In addition, he took a number of concubines or mistresses and had a number of children by them, as we see in I Chronicles 3:1-9.  “Now these were the sons of David, which were born unto him in Hebron; the firstborn Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; the second Daniel, of Abigail the Carmelitess: The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith: The fifth, Shephatiah of Abital: the sixth, Ithream by Eglah his wife.

These six were born unto him in Hebron; and there he reigned seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years.  And these were born unto him in Jerusalem; Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four, of Bathshua the daughter of Ammiel: Ibhar also, and Elishama, and Eliphelet, And Nogah, and Nepheg, and Japhia, And Elishama, and Eliada, and Eliphelet, nine.  These were all the sons of David, beside the sons of the concubines, and Tamar their sister.”

With such an example of promiscuity before him, it is not surprising that David’s oldest son developed a similar attitude toward women, and David’s affair with Bathsheba added to the problem.  Unfortunately the first one he fell for was his half sister, as we see in II Samuel 13:1.  “And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.”

Amnon was so infatuated he made himself sick longing for her, but he knew that Deuteronomy 27:22 stated, “Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother…”  He was sure she would never yield to his advances, as II Samuel 13:2 states.  “And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.”

Amnon was very close to one of his cousins, jonadab,  who noticed his unhappiness and loss of appetite,and asked about it.   Jonadab was quite sneaky and manipulative and suggested how Amnon could get to her and overcome her refusal, in II Samuel 13:3-5.  “But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man.  And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me?

And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.”  Jonadab suggested Amnon pretend to be sick and when David came to see him, ask if Tamar could come over to his house and fix him a meal. 

Amnon thought it was a great idea and did it, in II Samuel 13:6-9.  “So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat.  So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.  And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat.”

Totally unsuspecting, David asked Tamar to go over fix a special meal for Amnon.  When she did, he refused to eat with the others around and asked them all to leave.  With just the two of them there he tried to convince her to have sex with him, in II Samuel 13:9b-11.  “And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.  And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.  And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.”

She refused reminding him that it was forbidden under the Law, in II Samuel 13:12-13.  “And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.  And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.”  According to Leviticus 20:17, incest between brother and sister would result in their being put out of the tribe and no longer considered as Jewish.  “And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.”  Whie Amnon would be considered foolish for having given up everything for few moments pleasure, Tamar would no longer be considered marriageable, and would find it almost impossible to support herself. 

Caught up in his lust, Amnon didn’t care what she wanted, and raped her, as II Samuel 13:14-15.  “Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.  Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.”  Once the lust was satisfied, he wanted nothing more to do with her.  Infatuation has more to do with lust than with love initially, and if satisfied before growing into love leads to a loss of respect and resentment.

Raping her had been bad enough, but to just throw her away without any consideration was even worse, as Tamar pointed out, in II Samuel 13:16.  “And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.”  Exodus 22:16-17 commands, “And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.  If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.”  If a man had sex with a single woman, he was to claim her as his wife, even if her parents refused to allow them to live together.  By refusing and throwing her out, Amnon would be compounding his sin. 

Amnon refused to take any responsibility for what he had done. Ordering his servant to push her out and lock the door against her, in II Samuel 1:17.  “Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.”

The sex act causes a deep emotional bonding.  Tearing those emotional bonds causes serious emotional and psychological pain and harm that is very hard to heal.  Our modern promiscuous society consideres the damage unimportant, but we can see the effects in our society, with so many people emotionally unstable and angry,  God takes it very seriously, requiring that they get married and try to work things out.