Addressing A Problem Before It Grows.

By not involving the other people in reinstating David as king, Judah had caused a major split in the nation of Israel.  If it was not dealt with immediately it could destroy the entire nation.  Though he had not caused it, David was forced to take action, in II Samuel 20:4.  “Then said the king to Amasa, Assemble me the men of Judah within three days, and be thou here present.”

Not registering the urgency of the situation, Amasa did not respond as fast as needed, so David sent Abishai to initiate action and prevent the rebellion form getting too strong, in II Samuel 20:5-7.  “So Amasa went to assemble the men of Judah: but he tarried longer than the set time which he had appointed him.   And David said to Abishai, Now shall Sheba the son of Bichri do us more harm than did Absalom: take thou thy lord's servants, and pursue after him, lest he get him fenced cities, and escape us.  And there went out after him Joab's men, and the Cherethites, and the Pelethites, and all the mighty men: and they went out of Jerusalem, to pursue after Sheba the son of Bichri.”

Joab had deliberately disobeyed orders in murdering Absalom.  As a result, David had replaced him with Amasa.  When Amasa didn’t act quickly enough, David appointed Abishai to lead instead of Joab.  Unwilling to relinquish his power, Joab murdered Amasa, in II Samuel 20:8-10a.  “When they were at the great stone which is in Gibeon, Amasa went before them. And Joab's garment that he had put on was girded unto him, and upon it a girdle with a sword fastened upon his loins in the sheath thereof; and as he went forth it fell out.  And Joab said to Amasa, Art thou in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with the right hand to kiss him.  But Amasa took no heed to the sword that was in Joab's hand: so he smote him therewith in the fifth rib, and shed out his bowels to the ground, and struck him not again; and he died.”

The people understood why David had replaced Jab, and were hesitant to follow him.  One of Joab’s men told them they had to choose whether they wanted David as king or not, but as long as Amasa’s body was visible the people hesitated.  Once the body was removed it no longer distracted the people and they followed Joab’s leadership, in II Samuel 20:10b-13.  “So Joab and Abishai his brother pursued after Sheba the son of Bichri.  And one of Joab's men stood by him, and said, He that favoureth Joab, and he that is for David, let him go after Joab.  And Amasa wallowed in blood in the midst of the highway. And when the man saw that all the people stood still, he removed Amasa out of the highway into the field, and cast a cloth upon him, when he saw that every one that came by him stood still.  When he was removed out of the highway, all the people went on after Joab, to pursue after Sheba the son of Bichri.”

Sheba had been out recruiting supporters and Joab finally caught up with him at Abel of Bethmaachah, and besieged the city, as II Samuel 20:14-15 tells us.  “And he went through all the tribes of Israel unto Abel, and to Bethmaachah, and all the Berites: and they were gathered together, and went also after him.  And they came and besieged him in Abel of Bethmaachah, and they cast up a bank against the city, and it stood in the trench: and all the people that were with Joab battered the wall, to throw it down.”

Joab’s record of success in besieging and destroying far stronger cities was well known.  Knowing they would eventually be defeated, one of the wiser women of the city contacted Joab, to see if there was any way to keep him from destroying the entire city, in II Samuel 20:16-21.  “Then cried a wise woman out of the city, Hear, hear; say, I pray you, unto Joab, Come near hither, that I may speak with thee.  And when he was come near unto her, the woman said, Art thou Joab?

And he answered, I am he.

Then she said unto him, Hear the words of thine handmaid.

And he answered, I do hear.

Then she spake, saying, They were wont to speak in old time, saying, They shall surely ask counsel at Abel: and so they ended the matter.  I am one of them that are peaceable and faithful in Israel: thou seekest to destroy a city and a mother in Israel: why wilt thou swallow up the inheritance of the LORD?

And Joab answered and said, Far be it, far be it from me, that I should swallow up or destroy.  The matter is not so: but a man of mount Ephraim, Sheba the son of Bichri by name, hath lifted up his hand against the king, even against David: deliver him only, and I will depart from the city.  And the woman said unto Joab, Behold, his head shall be thrown to thee over the wall.  Then the woman went unto all the people in her wisdom. And they cut off the head of Sheba the son of Bichri, and cast it out to Joab. And he blew a trumpet, and they retired from the city, every man to his tent. And Joab returned to Jerusalem unto the king.”

Upon learning Joab’s only concern was that Sheba be executed, the woman promised to have him executed and his head thrown over the wall as proof of heis death.   Satisfied Sheba was dead and no longer posed a threat, Joab returned to Jerusalem with the army.  David had tried to replace Joab, but he was highly respected, and with Amasa dead and Abishai having yielded his leadership to Joab, David had little choice but to allow him to continue to lead the army, although he placed his personal guard and special forces under Benaiah.   Even the strongest and smartest leaders have to yield to reality, and sometimes allow someone other than their ideal to hold a position of authority and to start a conflict with Joab at that point in time would have severely damaged David’s administration.   Far better to work with him than to him and his followers into enemies.   II Samuel 20:23-25 names some of the ones who served as David’s cabinet members.  “Now Joab was over all the host of Israel: and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was over the Cherethites and over the Pelethites: And Adoram was over the tribute: and Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud was recorder: And Sheva was scribe: and Zadok and Abiathar were the priests: And Ira also the Jairite was a chief ruler about David.”

By dealing with the threat Sheba posed immediately, David was able to minimize the effect with the result only one person was killed and a war was averted.  Had they delayed, who knows how many thousands might have been killed or how hard his influence would have been to eradicate?

The Hazards of Ignoring Other People’s Opinions

After Absalom’s death, David had contacted the tribe of Judah, many of whom were his own relatives, asking why they were not seeking to reinstate him as king, as we saw in II Samuel 19:11.  As a result, the tribe of Judah declared him king without consulting with the other tribes, believing most of the people supported the idea.  Although they wanted to reinstate David as king, the other tribes resented not being asked or allowed to participate, leading to conflict as II Samuel 19:41-43 tells us.   “And, behold, all the men of Israel came to the king, and said unto the king, Why have our brethren the men of Judah stolen thee away, and have brought the king, and his household, and all David's men with him, over Jordan?

And all the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, Because the king is near of kin to us: wherefore then be ye angry for this matter? have we eaten at all of the king's cost? or hath he given us any gift?

And the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, and said, We have ten parts in the king, and we have also more right in David than ye: why then did ye despise us, that our advice should not be first had in bringing back our king? And the words of the men of Judah were fiercer than the words of the men of Israel.”

Just taking the time to get the other people involved would have prevented the entire conflict.  While Judah won the argument and got their way, it left the people divided and gave opportunity for someone else to take over, as II Samuel 20:1-tells us.  “And there happened to be there a man of Belial, whose name was Sheba, the son of Bichri, a Benjamite: and he blew a trumpet, and said, We have no part in David, neither have we inheritance in the son of Jesse: every man to his tents, O Israel.  So every man of Israel went up from after David, and followed Sheba the son of Bichri: but the men of Judah clave unto their king, from Jordan even to Jerusalem.”   

By acting unilaterally without consulting the others, the Tribe of Judah disrespected the others making them feel unwanted and unwelcome.  They chose to follow Sheba in hopes he would care about them.  The same thing happens in modern business, in churches and in homes when oneparty acts without consulting the others, and often leads to business breakups, church splits and divorces.   Right now the United States is in turmoil because of politicians who refuse to consider other people’s opinions.   

Though David understood Absalom had raped his concubines, and it was not their fault, David was never able to completely overcome the emotional impact or go back to way things had been before between them, as we see in II Samuel 20:3.  “And David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten women his concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put them in ward, and fed them, but went not in unto them. So they were shut up unto the day of their death, living in widowhood.” Neither logic nor forgiveness can completely eliminate the emotional effects of things that happen.  Although time allows the wounds to heal, the scars and pain frequently remain for a long time.

Although Absalom was dead, the effects of his rebellion aginst David were still being felt, both politically and in David’s home.  Many times we don’t realize all of the effects of certain events until years in the future, or how wide spread those effects may be.  How we handle the effects initially can make them even worse. 

Showing Appreciation For People’s Support

Mephibosheth was one of Saul’s sons, and for Jonathan’s sake, David had given him all Saul’s property, and made him almost a member of his family.  When David fled from Jerusalem, he had not gone with David’s supporters, and Ziba had accused him of staying behind in hopes of being made king.  As a result, David had told Ziba all the property would be his. 

When David returned, Mephibosheth met him and David asked why he had stayed behing, in II Samuel 19:24-25.  “And Mephibosheth the son of Saul came down to meet the king, and had neither dressed his feet, nor trimmed his beard, nor washed his clothes, from the day the king departed until the day he came again in peace.  And it came to pass, when he was come to Jerusalem to meet the king, that the king said unto him, Wherefore wentest not thou with me, Mephibosheth?”

Mephibosheth obviously was not anticipating being made king, because he had not even changed to clean clothes or trimmed his beard and combed his hair.  Because he was handicapped, he had been forced to catch a donkey to ride, and by the time he did so, it was too late, as he explained in II Samuel 19:26-28.  “And he answered, My lord, O king, my servant deceived me: for thy servant said, I will saddle me an ass, that I may ride thereon, and go to the king; because thy servant is lame.  And he hath slandered thy servant unto my lord the king; but my lord the king is as an angel of God: do therefore what is good in thine eyes.  For all of my father's house were but dead men before my lord the king: yet didst thou set thy servant among them that did eat at thine own table. What right therefore have I yet to cry any more unto the king?” 

Mephibosheth realized that another king might well have executed him to prevent an attempt to usurp the throne, and instead David had treated his as a close friend.  He felt he had no right to make any further claims on David.  Because Ziba had brought supplies, and David appreciated it, he told Mephibosheth to divide the property with Ziba.  Mephibosheth said he was so glad that David had survived that Ziba could have everything for having helped David, in II Samuel 19:29-30.  “And the king said unto him, Why speakest thou any more of thy matters? I have said, Thou and Ziba divide the land.

And Mephibosheth said unto the king, Yea, let him take all, forasmuch as my lord the king is come again in peace unto his own house.”

Barzillai had brought David many supplies to make their exile more comfortable.  When David returned to Jerusalem, Barzillai and his men escorted David back across the Jordan, in II Samuel 19:31-33.  “And Barzillai the Gileadite came down from Rogelim, and went over Jordan with the king, to conduct him over Jordan.  Now Barzillai was a very aged man, even fourscore years old: and he had provided the king of sustenance while he lay at Mahanaim; for he was a very great man.  And the king said unto Barzillai, Come thou over with me, and I will feed thee with me in Jerusalem.”

David wanted to show his appreciation for what Barzillai had done, but Barzillai said he was too old to really enjoy moving to the city.  He was just going to go a little way, then return home, as he explained in II Samuel 19:34-40, asking David to allow one of his men to receive the honors instead.  “And Barzillai said unto the king, How long have I to live, that I should go up with the king unto Jerusalem? I am this day fourscore years old: and can I discern between good and evil? can thy servant taste what I eat or what I drink? can I hear any more the voice of singing men and singing women? wherefore then should thy servant be yet a burden unto my lord the king?  

Thy servant will go a little way over Jordan with the king: and why should the king recompense it me with such a reward?  Let thy servant, I pray thee, turn back again, that I may die in mine own city, and be buried by the grave of my father and of my mother. But behold thy servant Chimham; let him go over with my lord the king; and do to him what shall seem good unto thee.

And the king answered, Chimham shall go over with me, and I will do to him that which shall seem good unto thee: and whatsoever thou shalt require of me, that will I do for thee.  And all the people went over Jordan. And when the king was come over, the king kissed Barzillai, and blessed him; and he returned unto his own place.  Then the king went on to Gilgal, and Chimham went on with him: and all the people of Judah conducted the king, and also half the people of Israel.”

People were glad to help David, and he made a special effort to show his appreciation, strengthening their relationships. 

Reinstatement

When David quit focusing on his pain and reached out to the people, they responded willingly.  Even the people who had supported Absalom remembered what David had done for Israel and began to reconsider having him as king, especially since Absalom was dead, as II Samuel 19:9-10 tells us.  “And all the people were at strife throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, The king saved us out of the hand of our enemies, and he delivered us out of the hand of the Philistines; and now he is fled out of the land for Absalom.  And Absalom, whom we anointed over us, is dead in battle. Now therefore why speak ye not a word of bringing the king back?”  They began to question why the leaders were not moving to restore him as king. 

Hearing the people wanted him back as king, David sent the priest to ask members of his own tribe why they were not recommending it, in II Samuel 19:11-12.  “And king David sent to Zadok and to Abiathar the priests, saying, Speak unto the elders of Judah, saying, Why are ye the last to bring the king back to his house? seeing the speech of all Israel is come to the king, even to his house.  Ye are my brethren, ye are my bones and my flesh: wherefore then are ye the last to bring back the king?”  If anyone had a vested interest in him as king, it should have been his own tribe and family.   

David had learned about Joab’s role in killing Absalom, and remembering how he had hindered uniting Israel by murdering Abner, David decided to replace him with his cousin Amasa,  in II Samuel 19:13.  “And say ye to Amasa, Art thou not of my bone, and of my flesh? God do so to me, and more also, if thou be not captain of the host before me continually in the room of Joab.”  Though Joab was a tremendous general, his insistence on doing things his own way without concern for other people made him undependable. 

When he reached out to them, the leaders of Judah united in support of his kingdom, as well as a thousand men of the tribe of Benjamin and several of Saul’s descendants, according to II Samuel 19:14-18a.  “And he bowed the heart of all the men of Judah, even as the heart of one man; so that they sent this word unto the king, Return thou, and all thy servants.  So the king returned, and came to Jordan. And Judah came to Gilgal, to go to meet the king, to conduct the king over Jordan.  And Shimei the son of Gera, a Benjamite, which was of Bahurim, hasted and came down with the men of Judah to meet king David.  And there were a thousand men of Benjamin with him, and Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, and his fifteen sons and his twenty servants with him; and they went over Jordan before the king.  And there went over a ferry boat to carry over the king's household, and to do what he thought good.

As soon as he was ferried over the river, Shimei, the man who had cursed David on his way out came to apologise, knowing David had every reason of rhating him.  He had not hesitated when he thought David was disgraced and would be killed, but when David was gaining fame, he wanted to get on his good side by saying he was sorry that he had gotten carried away in the moment, in II Samuel 18b-20.  “…And Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king, as he was come over Jordan; And said unto the king, Let not my lord impute iniquity unto me, neither do thou remember that which thy servant did perversely the day that my lord the king went out of Jerusalem, that the king should take it to his heart.  For thy servant doth know that I have sinned: therefore, behold, I am come the first this day of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.”

Shimei had no idea how close his mouth had come to getting him killed the fwhen he cursed David.   Abishai, Joab’s brother had asked permission to kill him then but David refused to let him.   Abishai was still angry about what he said and said they ought to still kill him.  David was concerned that his cousins were so quick to kill people, insisting that the celebration of his restoration not be marred by and execution, in II Samuel 19:21-23.  “ But Abishai the son of Zeruiah answered and said, Shall not Shimei be put to death for this, because he cursed the LORD'S anointed?

And David said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah, that ye should this day be adversaries unto me? shall there any man be put to death this day in Israel? for do not I know that I am this day king over Israel?  Therefore the king said unto Shimei, Thou shalt not die. And the king sware unto him.”  In showing mercy and not having Shimei executed, David was doing what Paul commands in Romans 12:17-21.  “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.  Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Though David had mercy on Shimei, he didn’t believe his apology was sincere.  Years later, in I Kings 2:8-9 he advised Solomon to not let him think he had gotten by with his sin. 

We Mustn’t Dwell On Our Losses

The people knew David had asked that Absalom not be hurt if it could be avoided.  Knowing he had been deliberately killed, even those who had not been involved had a sense of guilt for not stopping it, in II Samuel 19:3.   “And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle.”  At the same time, David was undoubtedly feeling guilty for not having immediately forgiven Absalom years before, wondering if things would have turned out differently if he had behaved differently as we see in II Samuel 19:4.  “But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

The son of a family I know just killed his aunt, and his parents are devastated wondering what they could have or should have done differently.   It is impossible to know whether different actions would have made any difference.   Such a sense of guilt can take over a person’s life and destroy them even though they had no way of knowing what going on, and nothing they did may have made any difference.   Joab realized that giving in to his ense of guilt was destroying not only David, but the entire nation.   He was allowing his sense of guilt and loss to isolate him from the very people who had done everything possible to help him, making them feel he blamed them. 

It was essential that David accept the fact that Absalom was dead and nothing they could do would change that.  David would have to put the hurt and guilt on the back burner and get on with his life or he would destroy the entire nation.  The people were getting the impression that he cared only about Absalom, as Joab told him in II Samuel 19:5-6.  “And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.”

We are told that losing a child results in divorce in about two out of three cases, because one or both parents get so caught up in the loss and the sense of guilt their mate feels they no longer matter, and many times the other children feel the same way.  Joab told David he would have to make a special effort to show he cared if he did not want them all to leave him, in II Samuel 19:7.  “Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto thy servants: for I swear by the LORD, if thou go not forth, there will not tarry one with thee this night: and that will be worse unto thee than all the evil that befell thee from thy youth until now.”

When David made the effort, the people came back, knowing he was not blaming them for what happened, in II Samuel 19:8.  “Then the king arose, and sat in the gate. And they told unto all the people, saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate. And all the people came before the king: for Israel had fled every man to his tent.”

When someone dies, there is nothing we can do that will bring them back or make everything right.  We can either spend the rest of our lives blaming ourselves or others, or we can acknowledge the fact that that the person has died and and go on with our lives.  We will never forget them, and there will always be a certain amount of pain, but we don’t need to keep irritating th wound,  If we change our focus, the level of pain will eventually become less severe.  If we stay fixated on the pain, we will drive others away, and lose even more.  It’s up to us whether we get over the loss or not.  When David began to reach out to others, they began to come back to him, and the same thing will happen for us.    

Why Are They Running?

David had given specific orders that Absalom was not to be killed if it could be avoided.  He had been hanging by his hair from tree, when he was found, and could easily have been arrested without risk.  Instead, still holding agrudge against him for burning his field, Joab, thrust three darts into his heart, then had ten other guys attack him with swords and clubs so that it would appear he had been killed in battle.  Knowing David would be upset about his death, the people buried him and slunk away. 

Absalom’s death ended any excuse for continuing the battle, and David needed to be informed about what was going on.  One of the priest’s sons, Ahimaaz had felt very important bringin the warning to David, and wanted to experience the same thrill again, but Joab refused to let him, in II Samuel 18:19.  “Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok, Let me now run, and bear the king tidings, how that the LORD hath avenged him of his enemies.

And Joab said unto him, Thou shalt not bear tidings this day, but thou shalt bear tidings another day: but this day thou shalt bear no tidings, because the king's son is dead.” 

Joab refused to use Ahimaaz because he was so excited about carrying the message he would not think about how the news of Absalom’s death would affect David.  Instead, he chose a more experienced man, Cushi, who knew more of the details about what had happened, but would be more respectful of David’s feelings, in II Samuel 18:21.  “Then said Joab to Cushi, Go tell the king what thou hast seen. And Cushi bowed himself unto Joab, and ran.”

Ahimaaz insisted on running, to show he could do it, and Joab asked him why, since he had no message to deliver.  Ahimaaz insisted anyway, so Joab allowed him to go.  Taking a shortcut, Ahimaaz beat Cushi getting there, but when he arrived, he really had little information to give, as II Samuel 18:22-30 tells us.  “Then said Ahimaaz the son of Zadok yet again to Joab, But howsoever, let me, I pray thee, also run after Cushi.

And Joab said, Wherefore wilt thou run, my son, seeing that thou hast no tidings ready?

But howsoever, said he, let me run.

And he said unto him, Run. Then Ahimaaz ran by the way of the plain, and overran Cushi.

And David sat between the two gates: and the watchman went up to the roof over the gate unto the wall, and lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold a man running alone.  And the watchman cried, and told the king.

And the king said, If he be alone, there is tidings in his mouth. And he came apace, and drew near.

And the watchman saw another man running: and the watchman called unto the porter, and said, Behold another man running alone.

And the king said, He also bringeth tidings.

And the watchman said, Me thinketh the running of the foremost is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok.

And the king said, He is a good man, and cometh with good tidings.

And Ahimaaz called, and said unto the king, All is well. And he fell down to the earth upon his face before the king, and said, Blessed be the LORD thy God, which hath delivered up the men that lifted up their hand against my lord the king.

And the king said, Is the young man Absalom safe?

And Ahimaaz answered, When Joab sent the king's servant, and me thy servant, I saw a great tumult, but I knew not what it was.

And the king said unto him, Turn aside, and stand here. And he turned aside, and stood still.”

Ahimaaz had been very fast to get there, but he had little of value to offer when he arrived.  When asked about David’s most pressing concern, he had no answere.  His run accomplished nothing of value.  Unfortunately, too often because churches have a group of young people who want to do something, they organize a mission trip and send the kids.  Unfortunately, the kids are excited about the trip but have little or no real understanding of what is needed or why.  Armed with a sales script about salvation they go out to win souls with no real understanding of what the people might need to know to genuinely believe in Christ, and because they get a number of people who buy into the script think they have accomplished something important, never realizing that even many of those who professed christ were not really saved. 

When Cushi arrived, he was far less excited about the trip, but was mature and experienced enough to understand what David needed to know,  as we see in II Samuel 18:31-33.  “And, behold, Cushi came; and Cushi said, Tidings, my lord the king: for the LORD hath avenged thee this day of all them that rose up against thee.

And the king said unto Cushi, Is the young man Absalom safe?

And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is.

And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

With more understanding of what was involved and more concern about the impact of his message, Cushi was able to answer David’s questions in a diplomatic fashion, accomplishing the purpose of sending the message.  In most cases it would be far more effective to involve teenagers in local church activities, so they can learn to effectively serve the Lord at home and only allowing those who have demonstrated a level of spiritual maturity and an interest in ministry to take part in mission projects.  If not done carefully, mission projects tend to weaken the churches they are supposed to help by letting them avoid taking responsibility for themselves.  The local people should already be doing what the teen mission group comes in to do, in most cases.

Absalom’s Total Defeat

Thanks to Hushai’s advice for Absalom and his army to wait until they were better organized before attacking David, David had time to get his own army organized, as II Samuel 18:1-2a. “And David numbered the people that were with him, and set captains of thousands and captains of hundreds over them.  And David sent forth a third part of the people under the hand of Joab, and a third part under the hand of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab's brother, and a third part under the hand of Ittai the Gittite…”

One of the reasons people followed David was because he actually led them, physically doing the work and setting an example for them, earning their respect.  The people understood this battle was an attack on David personally, and that Absalom and his followers did not care how many of the people were killed as long as they killed David.  The attitude was very much like the attitude we see right now toward Donald trump, with a few of his enemies willing to destroy the entire country to stop him and a whole bunch just following along, as II Samuel 18:2b-3 describes.  “…And the king said unto the people, I will surely go forth with you myself also.

But the people answered, Thou shalt not go forth: for if we flee away, they will not care for us; neither if half of us die, will they care for us: but now thou art worth ten thousand of us: therefore now it is better that thou succour us out of the city.”

A second reason people willingly followed David was because respected them and valued their opinions, as we see in II Samuel 18:4.  “And the king said unto them, What seemeth you best I will do. And the king stood by the gate side, and all the people came out by hundreds and by thousands.”   When the people said they thought it would be better if he did not go with them, David didn’t argue or insist it had to be done his way, but stood aside and encouraged them as they went out. 

While Absalom was determined to kill his father, David did not hate him, anymore than he had hated Saul.  He insisted they not hurt Absalom if they could avoid it, in II Samuel 18:5.  “And the king commanded Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom. And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom.”

There ws a tremendous battle that day, in a forested area most of the people were not familiar with.  Over twenty thousand were killed, with more being hurt or lost in the forest than were killed by the the other side, as II Samuel 18:6-8 tells us.  “So the people went out into the field against Israel: and the battle was in the wood of Ephraim; Where the people of Israel were slain before the servants of David, and there was there a great slaughter that day of twenty thousand men.  For the battle was there scattered over the face of all the country: and the wood devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.” 

One of the victims of the woods was Absalom himself, as II Samuel 18:9 describes.  “And Absalom met the servants of David. And Absalom rode upon a mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between the heaven and the earth; and the mule that was under him went away.”  Absalom was pretty vain, especially about his long beautiful hair, as we see in II Samuel 14:25-26.  “But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.  And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight.”  Once year he cut it and weighed it so he could brag about it.  As so often happens, it was that vanity that got him caught in the oak tree. 

Aman reported Absalom’s predicament to Joab, who demanded why he didn’t kill him on the spot.  As the man pointed out, David had commanded that Absalom was not to be hurt if it could be avoided, and had he done so, Joab himself would have seen that he was executed for breaking the king’s command, in II Samuel 18:10-12.  “And a certain man saw it, and told Joab, and said, Behold, I saw Absalom hanged in an oak.

And Joab said unto the man that told him, And, behold, thou sawest him, and why didst thou not smite him there to the ground? And I would have given thee ten shekels of silver, and a girdle.

And the man said unto Joab, Though I should receive a thousand shekels of silver in mine hand, yet would I not put forth mine hand against the king's son: for in our hearing the king charged thee and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Beware that none touch the young man Absalom.  Otherwise I should have wrought falsehood against mine own life: for there is no matter hid from the king, and thou thyself wouldest have set thyself against me.”

Joab had not forgotten how Absalom had burned his field to force him to get David to grant him an appointment.  This was his chance to get even, so he personal stuck three arrows or darts into Absalom’s heart, before having several young men shoot into him to make it look like a normal result of the intense fighting, as II Samuel 18:14-15 describes.  “Then said Joab, I may not tarry thus with thee. And he took three darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he was yet alive in the midst of the oak.  And ten young men that bare Joab's armour compassed about and smote Absalom, and slew him.”

With Absalom dead, ther was no point in continuing the battle, so Joab signaled to stop the fighting.  Knowing that David had not wanted Absalom killed, the people hastily buried him in pit and fled home fearing he would get upset, as II Samuel 18:16-17 tells us.  “And Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing after Israel: for Joab held back the people.  And they took Absalom, and cast him into a great pit in the wood, and laid a very great heap of stones upon him: and all Israel fled every one to his tent.”

Despite his pride and efforts to make himself some one of importance, the only thing Absalom left behind for people to remember him by was a monument he mad himself, as II Samuel 18:18 tells us.  “Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and reared up for himself a pillar, which is in the king's dale: for he said, I have no son to keep my name in remembrance: and he called the pillar after his own name: and it is called unto this day, Absalom's place.”  There wasn’t even a tombstone to mark his grave or a son to pass on his name.