Driving Away His Constituents

Competition between David’s and Ishbosheth’s armies stirred up the rivalry, leading to a fight.  Once it started things quickly escalated into an all out war, which dragged on for five years, as described in II Samuel 3:1.  “Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.”   

During this period, David’s capital was in Hebron, where six of his sons were born, as II Samuel 3:2-5 tells us,  “And unto David were sons born in Hebron: and his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; And his second, Chileab, of Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; And the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; And the sixth, Ithream, by Eglah David's wife. These were born to David in Hebron.”

Abner was Ishbosheth’s biggest supporter, but despite his best efforts people began to turn and follow David.    Like Saul, Ishbosheth was jealous of his position, and after a time, he accused Abner of having an affair with one of his father’s mistresses, implying he was trying to usurp the throne for himself, as II Samuel 3:6-7 tells us.  “And it came to pass, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner made himself strong for the house of Saul.  And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah: and Ishbosheth said to Abner, Wherefore hast thou gone in unto my father's concubine?”

Abner had risked his life and reputation in an effort to establish Ishbosheth as king simply because he was Saul’s son, and being accused of treason really angered him.   Like most of the people, he knew that God had designated David to be the king, and told Ishbosheth he would do everything in his power to make David king, as II Samuel 3:8-11 describes.  “Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbosheth, and said, Am I a dog's head, which against Judah do show kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethren, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me to day with a fault concerning this woman?  So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the LORD hath sworn to David, even so I do to him; To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba.  And he could not answer Abner a word again, because he feared him.”

Even our most loyal friends and supporters can be driven away by complaining and blaming them for things that they didn’t do, and may turn completely against us.  Proverbs 18:19 warns, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”  Once they have been offended it will take more than simply saying I’m sorry to regain their friendship and trust.  God will use Ishbosheth’s jealousy to strengthen David.

Ishbosheth knew Abner was the main reason people still supported him, and was afraid to say anything for fear the people would turn against him.  Abner contacted David, promising to swing the people to his side if they could work out an agreement.  Saul’s daughter Michal had been David’s first wife and his first love.  When He had been forced to flee for his life, Saul had forced her to marry another man in an effort to gain political power and to humiliate David.  David said he would work out a deal with Abner, if he would help him get Michal back, as II Samuel 3:12-13 describes.  “And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee.

And he said, Well; I will make a league with thee: but one thing I require of thee, that is, Thou shalt not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.”

With Abner supporting David, Ishbosheth was afraid to refuse when David sent messengers asking for Michal to be returned, as we see in II Samuel 3:14-16.  “And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.  And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.  And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim.

Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned.”

Note that throughout history, political leaders have used marriage as a tool to strengthen their power, ignoring what God has said about it, and about its effect on people’s emotions.  Genesis 2:24 tells us, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”  They become emotionally a single unit, and psychologists tell us losing a mate is emotionally as damaging as losing a limb.  As a result, in Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus quoted this statement, saying, “…For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

 God has never given either political or religious leaders authority over marriage.  In giving Michal to another man, Saul exceeded his authority.  However, once she had been another man’s wife, she could not then go back to David freely, according to Deuteronomy 24:4.  “Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD…”   She was Phaltiel’s wife at this point and they had no right to take her away from him, despite what David might feel.