Divorce And The Christian

Unfortunately, many people do not love their mate enough to forgive them and work things out.  If they don’t get their way, they walk away from the marriage, demonstrating their lack of love, because as I Corinthians 13:5 tells us, 1co 13:5, love “… seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked…” 

Romans 7:2-3 tells us that God’s plan was for marriage to be for life.  “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”  As long as the mate lives, if they marry someone else, they are committing adultery, even if they get a divorce. 

Jesus said the same thing when the Pharisees questioned him about divorce in Matthew 19:3-8.  “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Under the Old Testament Law, adultery called for a mandatory death penalty.  Recognizing mankind’s sinful state, the law allowed those who were divorced to marry, without facing the death penalty, although it was still considered adultery and divorce was not approved in much the same way a police officer might overlook a person going only a mile or two over the speed limit although they are still breaking the law.   Mark 10:2-12 records the same teaching.  

Malachi 2:13-16 tells us that God hates divorce, and one of the reasons he was not blessing Israel was because they had accepted it as unimportant.  “And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.  Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

Sometimes as a result of abuse, criminal activity, or sexual infidelity, a Christian may be forced to separate from their mate.  Other times their mate walks out on them.  Paul deals with such situations in I Corinthians 7:10-11.  “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”  The only case in which remarriage is allowed seems to be in the case where one’s spouse hwa been caught up in sexual infidelity as we see in Matthew 5:31-32..  “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

We are not to leave our mate simply because they are not a Christian, or because we want to go into a greater ministry, as we see in I Corinthians 7:12-20.  “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.  Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.  Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.  Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.”  Going into the ministry does not erase our responsibilities to our mate.