Forgiving Our Mate

It is easy to maintain an appearance of love toward those who we only meet occasionally for brief periods.  It is far harder to fool those who are close to us and we are around every day, because they see us in both good times and bad.   Real love does not take it’s frustrations out on those around them, as I Corinthians 13:4 tells us.  “Charity suffereth long, and is kind…”  Despite the hurts the person feels, he continues to be kind to those who are close to him.  This becomes much harder when the hurts are the result of what those close to us have done. 

It is easy to become resentful toward those who are close to us when the hurt us.  In Colossians 3:19, Paul tells us. “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”  If we truly love them, we will be willing to forgive them and overlook the hurts, as I Peter 4:8 tells us.  “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

James 3:13-17 warns that an unforgiving attitude is ungodly, and makes things worse.  “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.  This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.  For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”

Solomon warned that our anger tends to cause us to do or say things that anger others, in Proverbs 29:22.  “An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.”  The more angry we become, the more irrational and cruel we become.  Living with someone who is constantly angry becomes almost unbearable, as Solomon warned his son in Proverbs 21:19.  “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”  As he says, it is better to be homeless than to live in a big fancy home and be constantly fighting.  Proverbs 25:24 emphasizes this.   “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”

The longer we stay angry about something, the more bitter we become, and the more likely we are to do something wrong to those around us.  This is why Ephesians 4:26-27 commands, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”  In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus warned, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

When a person deliberately drives after drinking alcohol, he has deliberately chosen to take the chance of causing a wreck or killing someone.   If it happens, he is responsible and has to pay for his actions even though he did not intend to have the accident.  In the same way, when we hold onto our anger and refuse to forgive, we are responsible for the sins that results from our anger. 

To avoid finding ourselves in that position, Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”  Remember that you are not perfect and God has forgiven you for far worse things than they ever did to you.  You also need consider how many times they have forgiven you for things you did?  If you love them you will forgive them.