Does It Really Matter?

Luke 10:38-42

“Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.” (Luke 10:38-40)

Luke’s description of Martha reminds me of a woman I know. Everyone who met her used to think of her as the epitome of Solomon’s virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. According to her husband, she would arise at four a.m. to read her Bible and have devotions, then spend the entire day cleaning house, fixing meals, teaching her children, and decorating cakes for someone or making Christmas presents until midnight.

She always taught a Sunday School class and hosted youth meetings. She coached the girls basketball team at the Christian school and often provided a place to stay for visiting church groups. She never missed a service at church in the time I knew her.

Most people believed she was the ideal Christian. When she divorced her husband, people thought he must have really done some terrible thing to make her leave him. Other people who knew her said she was bitter that her husband was so lazy and never helped her, about never having enough money, and that he would never talk to her.

Knowing that her husband worked two part time jobs as well as a full time job, it was hard for most of us to believe he was lazy. Her husband said that she became increasingly resentful that he couldn’t supply as much money as she wanted and she constantly complained that he never talked to her, but that she would get angry if he tried to talk to her while she was busy with some thing. By midnight, when she finally slowed down, he wasn’t up to carrying on a conversation, knowing he had to be at work at seven the next morning. Even if he tried, she dozed off within the first few moments. After a ten or twelve hour day, it was hard to motivate himself to tackle all the things she wanted done, and she resented his not doing them.

It also got to be a burden listening to her complain about how much she was expected to do. Nobody at the Christian school or the church was doing their share and she resented them for it. Though he didn’t believe in divorce, it was a relief not having to deal with her constant anger.

Like the woman I described, Martha was very busy doing good things. In fact she got so busy doing them that she began to resent the fact that Mary wasn’t doing as much as she was. It is the typical response of a workaholic. Jesus was very loving, but not very sympathetic in his response.

“And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Martha was so busy doing good things that she had neglected the only one that mattered. Jesus and his disciples could have eaten less fancy food or stayed in a less than perfect house. They did so on a regular basis, and it would not have been viewed as an inconvenience. In reality, Martha was more concerned with her reputation as a hostess and housekeeper than she was with the Lord himself. She wouldn’t take time from her activities to spend with him. The woman I described was more concerned with her reputation as the perfect wife than she was with her husband. She didn’t have time or energy to be his wife because she was so busy. Like Martha she began to resent those who didn’t share her ideals.

The resentment indicates that one is not acting out of love but for some selfish reason, regardless how good the actions may appear. A woman who can’t take time for her husband is not really a wife, just a glorified housekeeper. In the same way, a person who can’t take time for the Lord isn’t really a Christian, just a hypocrite like the scribes and Pharisees, doing everything to impress people.

Another woman never cleaned her house, washed dishes, cooked or did laundry. Her children were ashamed to invite other kids to their home, and learned very young to wash a dish and fix something to eat for themselves. They washed the clothes they wanted to wear to school themselves. This woman frequently stopped by her husband’s workplace and talked to him during his lunch hour. When he was working at some side job she would go as his helper or and they spent nearly every evening discussing their interests. Their marriage was still strong after more than sixty years, although people wondered how he could put up with her refusal to keep house.

The first woman’s husband had no question. She took time for a relationship with her husband. He was perfectly capable of washing his own dish or clothes, and was willing to do it because he valued her interest in him. That interest in him was far more valuable than all the things she could have done for him.

Like the second woman, Mary had focused on the only thing that really mattered. Jesus stated that that could never be taken from her. How much of our busyness is involved with things that don’t really matter?
Most advertising today stresses a limited time to act to create a sense of urgency. In most cases, the same deal will be repeated, so that it is not critical that you act immediately. Besides, you have gotten by this long without, so you can probably do without if you never get the item. If you focus on the apparent urgency, you may well buy something you didn’t need or even want. Many of our activities call for the same kind of urgency.

Many self help programs teach the importance of prioritizing what we see as needing to be done. If we prioritize which are most important, and do those first, we may not get everything done, but we will have done the most important ones. We will have no reason for stress because what mattered is done. If we don’t learn to identify what matters, and do it first, we will never have peace. Like the first woman, that lack of peace may result in losing what we had.