Establishing Boundaries

Genesis 13:2-12

The sheer size of his herds forced Abram to relocate regularly to provide pasture. The drought that led to his going to Egypt in the first place made it impossible to stay in the southern desert area of Canaan. They moved back to the North.

“And Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold. And he went on his journeys from the south even to Bethel, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Hai; Unto the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first: and there Abram called on the name of the LORD.” (Genesis 13:2-4)

When he had first come to The area between Bethel and Hai, Abram had built an altar and worshipped God. When he came back to that place he again was inspired to worship God. When he went to Egypt, he was acting on his own and not trusting God, and it resulted in sin and eventual expulsion from Egypt. When he got back to trusting God in the place where he was supposed to be he again wanted to worship God. A loss of interest in the things of the Lord always indicates we have moved away from him. That relationship will only be restored when we go back to the place we left the Lord. It was not him leaving us, but us leaving him.

“And Lot also, which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents. And the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together: for their substance was great, so that they could not dwell together. And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.” (Genesis 13:5-7)

Abram’s brother, Haran died, so Lot had been raised by his grandfather. He was more like Abram’s little brother than his nephew. He had also acquired herds and possessions. In Canaan, as the flocks grew, it reached a point where there was not enough feed available for all their flocks if they stayed together. As they became increasingly separated, competition for the forage began to develop between their employees. The fact that others also used the land aggravated the problem.

“And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren. Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.” (Genesis 13:8-9)

There ought not be strife between brethren. Strife always indicates selfishness. Unfortunately selfishness is characteristic of the natural man, and no matter how much they love each other, from time to time it rears it’s head. If not resolved properly, it will eventually destroy the relationship.

In essence, Abram recommended setting some boundaries. He offered Lot the choice which he would take. They would separate and lot could take whichever part he wanted. Establishing boundaries is essential in avoiding or limiting conflict, although they may not be formally set. We see the problem with little children if one is allowed to take whatever toy another is playing with, and it continues through life. Those boundaries have to be recognized by both sides if they are to work. Sometimes it is necessary to physically separate in order to define the boundaries, or to maintain them. Genesis 2:24 declares, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh,” for this very reason. It will be nearly impossible to maintain proper boundaries if a married couple moves in with one of their parents. There is a natural physical boundary if they live in a separate home, that is easy to identify. If people refuse to honor those boundaries, it always leads to conflict. By giving Lot his choice, Abram ensured that Lot agreed with the boundaries.

“And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other.” (Genesis 13:10-11)

It is amusing to note that flesh spelled backward is h self, as in himself or herself. In the flesh, it is natural to focus on ones own benefit. Even boundaries tend to become sources of conflict as both sides seek to get more for themselves. Abram overcame that tendency, offering Lot the choice. Lot yielded to the natural instinct.

On one side was arid hills with limited capacity, while on the other was a rich irrigated valley that offered easy abundance. Lot could have selected some landmark as a boundary, splitting the rich valley and the desert so they both had some of each. He could have taken the desert and given his uncle the best opportunity, Instead he took what he thought was the best for himself. Like most choices made out of selfishness, it would later turn out to be a bad choice. He went east toward Sodom.

“Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.” (Genesis 13:12)

Once the boundaries were set, Abram remained in the place God had directed him to. It didn’t look as appealing as what Lot had taken, but it was where God wanted them. Lot, on the other hand, having begun with a selfish intent moved steadily farther from what God wanted and closer to Sodom, both physically and morally. It is a very clear picture of what happens when we put ourselves first. What he ignored was what the people in Sodom were like.

“But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.” (Genesis 13:13)

We tend to adopt the attitudes and standards of those we associate most closely with. If those are evil people, we adopt an evil standard. As I Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” The closer Lot got to the people of Sodom, the more he lowered his standards, even though he was not comfortable with the changes, as we see in II Peter 2:8. “(For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;)”

Sadly, like Lot, many today move toward Sodom because they want what the world offers, even though they are troubled by what those in the field they pursue do. Success or recognition may require sacrificing their ethical or moral standards. In I Timothy 6:9-10, Paul warned, “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” The boundaries we set can cause other problems if set for selfish reasons. We need to consider them carefully.