Demonstrating Love

Song of Solomon 3:1-11

“By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.  I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

“The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?  It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.  I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.” (Song of Solomon 3:1-5)

When she realized her husband was not in bed, the woman decided to go see what was wrong.  She was aware that something was not normal.  She went hunting for the person she loved, even walking the streets to find him.  Along the way she met the police and asked if they had seen them.   Finally she found him and stayed with him until he finally was able to relax and go back to sleep.  When he did she made a special effort to make sure he was not disturbed until he was rested.    Real love is concerned about the things that trouble their mate.  They don’t just blow it off and go back to sleep or whatever they were doing.  They realize the things that matter the most are often the hardest to talk about and are willing to wait.

“Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?  Behold his bed, which is Solomon's; threescore valiant men are about it, of the valiant of Israel.  They all hold swords, being expert in war: every man hath his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night. ” (Song of Solomon 3:6-8)

She recognized the pressures on her husband.   He couldn’t always be at her side, coming like a puff of smoke when he wasn’t expected and their relationship was always affected by his job.  She realized the importance of what he did and the need for constantly being on call and supported him in it. 

“King Solomon made himself a chariot of the wood of Lebanon.  He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem.  Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart. ” (Song of Solomon 3:9-11)

It is not clear why the word here was translated chariot.  So far as I can tell this is the only time it is used in the scriptures, and it refers to a Palanquin or litter similar to those seen in other cultures.  It was constructed of wood,   and overlaid with gold and silver with a purple top.  It was made especially for going among the people.  They could see Solomon in all his regal attire, like people flocking to see the president’s motorcade.  It was a thrill to his wife to see him thus and remember when they were married. 

In our modern world there is a tendency to get so caught up in our own careers and activities that we are oblivious to our mate’s concerns.   We hear a lot about the need for more communication in marriage.  They usually mean we need to talk more.    Most communication is nonverbal.    When we jump to conclusions about what they mean instead of listening, we communicate we really aren’t interested in what they mean.  Walking out of the room or turning on the vacuum cleaner when the person is trying to explain their feelings or telling them how it’s going to be   conveys the same message.    The problem is not a lack of communication, but with what is being communicated. 

Each time we do such things we push them farther away, and eventually they quit trying to share their feelings.   It is not that they don’t want to share, but that they feel we resent having to talk to them.  Clearly what we are doing matters more than they do.  The marriage grows increasingly unsatisfactory and often ends in divorce.  Just taking the time to listen and showing concern for their feelings demonstrates our love. 

When we consistently ignore what God says, we cease to hear the Holy Spirit speaking and our relationship with God deteriorates just like what happens in the marriage.    As often happens, we blame God for not speaking to us rather than realizing we are pushing him away.