Divorce and Remarriage

The Old Testament Law Had given very specific guidelines about marriage and divorce.  Over the centuries, the Jews had developed various schools of interpretation of that Law, leading to confusion as to what it actually meant.  The Pharisees hoped to use that confusion to entrap Jesus, in Matthew 19:3.  “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”  Essentially, they were asking the question many ask today, as to what are the acceptable grounds for a divorce for those who serve God. 

In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus answered the question by referring to God’s creation of mankind and the institution of marriage in Genesis 2.  “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” 

Contrary to popular religious or legal practice, a marriage is not the result of a legal or religious ceremony.  It is the result of God joining the man and woman together, and I Corinthians 6:16 makes it very clear this is accomplished through the sex act, even if is with a prostitute.  “What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”  Since is is an act of God, no human entity, whether government, religious organization, parents, or the couple themselves have the right to break that marriage. 

Just as they do today, people were using all kinds of excuses for getting divorces because the Law had allowed it in certain instances.  If divorce was never acceptable, as Jesus said, the Pharisees wanted to know why the law permitted it, as Matthew 19:7 tells us.  “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?” 

Jesus was very specific that divorce is never God’s will in Matthew 19:8-9.  “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  Because of man’s sinful rebellious nature the law permitted divorce under certain conditions, but it was never God’s intention.  Malachi 2:16 is very clear that God hates divorce.  “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…”   Because people deliberately do wicked things there are times when divorce can be overlooked, as for example when the mate is physically abusive. 

He went on to say that if they separated for any reason other than a sexual affair by their mate, to remarry makes them an adulterer or adulteress, and the one who marries them is also an adulterer.  This is exactly the same thing he said in Matthew 5:32.  “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”  The separation exposes one’s mate to temptation, and one needs to realize they will be held accountable for tempting their mate.

Please understand that the word translated divorce refers solely to what we call a legal separation.  Before God, they are still married according to Romans 7:2-3.   “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.   So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”  Based on these facts, I Corinthians 7:10-11 is very clear.  “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”  Incompatibility, an emotional affair, or even abuse does not free one to remarry. 

This teaching is unpopular today, and even Jesus’ disciples were bothered by it, according to Matthew 19:10.  “His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.”  Jesus went on to explain that not everyone will be able to live up to this standard, in Matthew 19:11-12.  “But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”  Some people will marry an abusive mate or one who is determined to get divorce, and be forced to violate it, while others will simply lack the commitment.  Those who live up to this standard are to be commended, not condemned or considered abnormal because they put God first.