Showing Love To Our Mate

In Mark 12:29-30 Jesus said the most important command was to love God and the second was to love our neighbor just like we love ourselves.  In John 14:23-24 he tells us that we demonstrate our love for him by keeping his commands, and in John 13:35, he tells us, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”   Clearly, loving one another is critical to our ability to please God, and to testimony before the world. 

Galatians 6:10 instructs, “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”  Our best and most frequent opportunities to show love come with those we are closest to, our own family and friends.   Because they are close to us they are also the most affected by our love or lack of love, making our treatment of them of vital importance.  The relationship between Husband and wife should be the closest human relationship, even taking precedence over that of parent and child, as Genesis 2:24 tells us.  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

With this understanding in mind, In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul commands, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

The very concept of marriage is that of being set apart or sanctified for one’s mate, with no ties or connections to others or the past to interfere with the relationship.  Just as Christ gave himself for the church, both husband and wife must be willing to give themselves to each other.  Peter speaks about the same thing, in I Peter 3:1-7.  “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Peter makes it very clear that one’s attitude of love toward their mate can be the testimony that draws them to Christ.  Paul Says that the wife is to show reverence, an extreme respect for her huspand, while peter says t5hat the husband is to honor or respect his wife.    As we see in I Corinthians 13:4-7, a disrespectful attitude is inimical to love, setting one’s own desires and opinions above those of their mate.  If we cannot demonstrate love to those who are closest to us, how can we demonstrate real love to God or those who are not as close?  I John 4:20 says, “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?”