A Flawed Moral Standard

Genesis 38:12-30

“And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.” (Genesis 38:12)

After recovering from his grief over his wife’s death, Judah went out to help shear his sheep, taking his friend Hirah with him. Even today with power clippers and nice facilities it may take eight to ten minutes just to shear each sheep. It also requires extra help to catch and hold them so a large herd takes a lot of time and leaves everyone exhausted. It is usually a time of camaraderie similar to that of a group of guys on a hunting trip.

“And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep. And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.” (Genesis 38:13-14)

It had been several years since Judah had promised that Shelah would marry Tamar in accordance with Deuteronomy 22:5-6. She had not messed around with other guys, but Shelah was a grown man and no indication of keeping the promise had been given. She took matters into her own hand, knowing where Judah was going to shear sheep. Because prostitutes and promiscuous women are usually shunned by other women, who see them as a threat to their happiness, they usually conceal their real identity, especially since prostitutes were often killed by their families, just as it is among many groups today. Tamar dressed up and covered herself with a veil so she wouldn’t be recognized and parked herself in place where people passing by would be sure to notice her, like the prostitutes did.

“When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face. And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?” (Genesis 38:15-16)

Dressed like other harlots and in a public place where she’d draw attention, it is no surprise Judah assumed she was a prostitute. Our dress and actions convey an impression of who and what we are. It may be different than we intended, and the impression varies somewhat with the culture one is in. A woman dressed as Tamar was would not be assumed to be a prostitute in modern America, because our styles and culture are different.

“And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it? And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him.” (Genesis 38:17-18)

It had been a while since Judah had indulged in sex and he yielded to the temptation, approaching Tamar. His moral standard had deteriorated to the point where he was willing to seek out a prostitute to satisfy his physical cravings. Since it had been several years since he had seen her or given her any thought, he didn’t recognize Tamar, covered up as she was, and offered a young goat for sex. She agreed, but demanded collateral to be sure of getting paid. As collateral, she accepted his ring and bracelets, and his shepherd’s staff. They were far more valuable than a young goat. He agreed she could hold them until the goat was delivered. In the dark he still didn’t recognize her, and got her pregnant.

“And she arose, and went away, and laid by her veil from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.” (Genesis 38:19)

The next morning, Tamar returned home and resumed living as she had before as a widow, as if nothing had happened.

“And Judah sent the kid by the hand of his friend the Adullamite, to receive his pledge from the woman's hand: but he found her not. Then he asked the men of that place, saying, Where is the harlot, that was openly by the way side? And they said, There was no harlot in this place. And he returned to Judah, and said, I cannot find her; and also the men of the place said, that there was no harlot in this place. And Judah said, Let her take it to her, lest we be shamed: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her. ” (Genesis 38:20-23)

Judah sent his friend Hirah to deliver the goat and get his stuff back hide his own identity. It would be a shameful thing to be found out. None of the local men knew her and finally he was forced to report that he’d failed in his mission. Judah gave up on getting his stuff back, deciding it was better to lose it than to make his shame public. After all she was unlikely to reveal it since she had taken his stuff.

“And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.” (Genesis 38:24)

Societies tend to set a double standard, condemning a woman for promiscuous behavior while condoning it in a man. God’s standard is that both are guilty and in Deuteronomy 22, he commanded that both should be executed. After all, a woman cannot commit adultery without a man doing it too. As is so often the case, Judah demanded she be punished, while excusing his own sin, not realizing it had been with her.

“When she was brought forth, she sent to her father in law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, Discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff. And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more.” (Genesis 38:25-26)

It must have come as quite a shock to be identified as her partner in adultery, but there was no question whose the things were. Judah had to acknowledge his own guilt, both in the sex act in in his failure to keep his promise to give his younger son to be her husband, while she had done as he demanded. The responsibility was more his than hers.

“And it came to pass in the time of her travail, that, behold, twins were in her womb. And it came to pass, when she travailed, that the one put out his hand: and the midwife took and bound upon his hand a scarlet thread, saying, This came out first. And it came to pass, as he drew back his hand, that, behold, his brother came out: and she said, How hast thou broken forth? this breach be upon thee: therefore his name was called Pharez. And afterward came out his brother, that had the scarlet thread upon his hand: and his name was called Zarah.” (Genesis 38:27-30)

Jacob’s attitude about cheating have been learned by his sons, and the cheating was not limited to business. Reuben had an affair with his father’s wife Bilhah, and Judah had chosen to hire a prostitute. While we can’t control the temperament of our children, we can have a lot of influence on the attitude they develop. Genesis provides the best examples of how our actions affect our families of any of the scriptures, and I Corinthians 10:11 says, “Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.”

The failure to study and learn from these examples is probably the biggest cause of the moral breakdown in the modern church.