Ongoing Effects Of Sin

Having satisfied his lust by raping his half sister Tamar, Amnon despised her and had her thrown out of his house.  Tamar was psychologically devastated by both the Rape and Amnon’s rejection afterward, as II Samuel 13:18-19 tells us.  “And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.  And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.” 

Rape is both physically and emotionally traumatic, and many victims never fully recover.  The emotional trauma of being forced against one’s will is compounded by the ripping apart of the emotional bonds resulting from the sexual act.  Pshchologists say ripping those bonds apart is as emotionally devastating as having a limb amputated.  This is probably why Exodus 22:16-17 commands, “And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.  If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.”  Deuteronomy 22:28-29 gives a similar command.  “If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.”

Tamar’s full brother Absalom realized how devastated she was and asked her to say with his family while she sorted things out, in II Samuel 13:20.  “And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.” 

David was outraged by what his eldest son had done, but his own sense of guilt prevented him from taking effective action, as II Samuel 13:21 tells us.  “But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.”

Watching Tamar struggle with her emotions month after month and seeing Amnon apparently getting away with what he had done led to Absalom plotting to kill him, in II Samuel 13:22-29a.  “And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.  And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons.  And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.

And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.

Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us.

And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee?

But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him.  Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.  And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded….”

Sheep shearing was a very labor intensive process, requiring much help.  People came together to share in the work and enjoy being together.  Absalom decided to use this as an opportunity to get Amnon in a place where he could have him killed.  Not knowing what was going on, the other brothers assumed he intended to kill them all and fled.  As often happens, the initial reports exaggerated what had happened, in II Samuel 13:29b-31.  “Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.  And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king's sons, and there is not one of them left.  Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.”

David was devastated at hearing his sons were dead, probably remembering Nathan’s prophecy in II Samuel 12:10b and blaming himself.  “…Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.”    Absaloms cousin, his best buddy Jonadab knew what had happened and told David the reports were wrong and only Amnon had been killed, in II Samuel 13:32-33.  “And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.  Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.”

Absalom feared his father would not overlook Amnon’s murder and fled.   A short time later, David’s sons arrived to prove Jonadab was right, as II Samuel 13:34-36 tells us.  “But Absalom fled.

And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him.

 And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king's sons come: as thy servant said, so it is.  And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king's sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore.”  David and his people were relieved that only Amnon had been killed. 

Absalom fled to his maternal grandfather for protectioin.  David was able to accept Amnon’s death after little while, realizing it was a direct result of his own actions, and another fulfilling of the prophecy, but it was not all David’s fault.  He only set the stage by his example.   He was saddened by being separated from Absalom, thinking of him every day as II Samuel 13:37-39 tells us.  “But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.   So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.  And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.”