Isaac Needs A Wife

Genesis 24:1-9

Ten years after Sarah’s death, when Abraham was a hundred forty, he became increasingly concerned about his son Isaac’s future. While Abraham got along well with the Canaanites and had many friends among them, and some of them believed in God, none of them had the same background of faith that Abraham and his family had. People tend to adopt the attitudes and practices of those they are closely associated with, and Abraham was concerned that to marry one of the Canaanite girls could easily lead Isaac away from following the Lord, but there were no other girls and women for Isaac to meet.

“And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” (Genesis 24:1-4)

Abraham commissioned his oldest, most trusted servant to Go back to Haran where they had originally come from and take a wife from there because they had had similar upbringing. Hopefully, their beliefs and practices would not be so different as to turn Isaac completely away from following God. Centuries later, under the Mosaic Law, God forbid Israel to marry certain groups for the same reason, that they were more apt than other groups draw them away from God because of their customs and religion. The same principle of maintaining a separation from who do not hold the same standards is found in the new testament in passages like I Timothy 6:3-6, II Thessalonians 3:6, Romans 16:17, and II Corinthians 6:14-17. We are not to be hateful toward them, we are just not to get too closely associated.

“And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?” (Genesis 24:5)

The servant’s question was how far he was expected to go in obtaining a wife for Isaac. Was he to forcibly bring her back, or set up a visit, or just walk away? Was the girl to have any say in whether they got married?

Marriages between powerful families have often been arranged to strengthen their families power or prestige throughout history. Unfortunately, the those who are getting married become nothing more than a pawn in the effort to satisfy ambition, with the result that they are forced to marry with no consideration of their desires or happiness. While they sometimes work out, some are just endured and unhappiness and infidelity are common. The servant recognized that the girl might not want to marry a man she didn‘t know.

At various times in American history, couples have arranged to marry without ever meeting each other. Many such marriages worked out well, if both parties wanted to make it work, proving that a successful marriage is more a matter of commitment and cooperation than of compatibility or physical attributes. Unfortunately, it is difficult to judge commitment or willingness to cooperate by a letter or personal ad or dating profile. Even modern dating customs give little opportunity to make an accurate assessment of the person. It is easy to present a false façade in such settings, because everyone knows they are expected to act in a specified manner.

Because he knew Isaac, the servant would be able to observe the girl in real life and see if she seemed appropriate, while not being emotionally involved. People looking for a mate are emotionally involved and tend to overlook things that later cause problems. One of the advantages of taking the prospective mate to visit the family is that you get a slightly less emotionally involved perspective. Under the Old Testament Law, a brother was required to marry his sister-in-law if his brother died, giving him a special interest in who was picked. While we don’t practice that, the entire family will be affected by the decision. Friends and associates, especially older ones, often provide an even more objective viewpoint. Aquaintances of the prospective mate may know things that are not readily apparent.

“And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.” (Genesis 24:6-8)

Abraham had come to the land of Canaan following God’s leadership, and God had promised that land to Isaac and his heirs forever. The servant was not to take Isaac back where family relationships and common culture might cause him to forget what God had promised. God would lead the servant to a proper wife, without Isaac having to make the trip. If she was unwilling to commit, the servant would have no further responsibility. A forced marriage would be unlikely to be satisfactory.

“And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.” (Genesis 24:9)

On that basis, the servant accepted the commission to find Isaac a wife.