Separation From Ishmael

Genesis 2:9-21

While God never specifically forbids polygamy, it is clear from his prohibition for church leaders to have more than one wife in I Timothy 3 and Titus 1 that it is not his preferred standard. As Acts 17:30 tells us, there are some things God overlooks, although they are not exactly the way he wants them. Marriage involves a bonding between a man and a woman, so that they become “one flesh”. Adding a third person contaminates and distorts that bonding, weakening the marriage. Even though they may go on to have a good marriage, the ‘other woman’ or man is always there., even if they died. I Corinthians 6:16 makes it clear that even a single sexual encounter produces that bonding. Abraham’s liason with Hagar that resulted in Ishmael’s birth, even though suggested by Sarah herself, caused problems between Sarah and Hagar and damaged Abraham and Sarah‘s relationship. These problems carried over into their relationship with Ishmael as well.

“And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.” (Genesis 21:9-10)

Ishmael was about sixteen, fourteen years older than Isaac. Older children tend to tease younger ones, not necessarily maliciously. With the tensions already between Sarah and Hagar and Ishmael, Sarah resented his teasing. These same tensions are found in every situation where remarriage or sexual infidelity occurs. It is a thoroughly normal situation.

Sarah demanded that Abraham separate himself from Hagar and her son. Sixteen years of tensions had finally gotten to her. She demanded that he choose between the two.

“And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.” (Genesis 21:11)

Such situations result in everyone getting hurt. Hagar had fled from Sarah once before. Ishmael is made to feel he isn’t important, and will be deprived of a proper relationship with his father. Sarah has had her relationship with her husband weakened and lost her trust of Hagar, as well as not being able to have a regular friendly relationship with Ishmael as Abraham’s son. Abraham’s relationship with Sarah had been damaged by a lack of trust. He could not maintain an pure employer relationship with Hagar, and his relationship with his son was threatened.

“And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called. And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.” (Genesis 21:12-13)

Though Ishmael was Abraham’s son, and he had an obligation to both Hagar and Ishmael, God instructed him to allow the separation and trust God to take care of them. I Corinthians 7 provides a great deal of instruction about relationships, both to our mates and to God. One of the things that come across clearly is that we cannot make a relationship work by force. As Christians sometimes it is impossible to maintain peace. Trying to hold a relationship together in the face of such constant conflict can become a reproach rather than a testimony for God.

The constant jealousy of Sarah toward Hagar and Ishmael would affect both Isaac and Ishmael negatively, perhaps turning both away from God. If one party refuses to make any effort to work it out, a separation may be necessary to reduce the conflict, and Sarah was clearly refusing to. I Corinthians 7:15 commands, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” Whether dealing with those who are teaching false doctrine, or living in sin or in family problems, when it becomes apparent that one party refuses to make any effort at resolving the problems, separation may be the only thing we can do. God has called us to peace. Every effort should be made to resolve conflict but it may not be possible, except by separating. After sixteen years, it was apparent Sarah was not going to back off.

“And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.” (Genesis 21:14)

Even when we are forced to separate, we are not to burn our bridges behind us. We should leave the possibility of reconciliation. The wife who felt forced to leave her husband should be free to return to her husband , according to I Corinthians 7:10-11, the sinning Christian who was expelled from the church is to be forgiven if he repents according to II Corinthians 2:5-6, and the heretic is not to be counted as an enemy according to II Thessalonians 3:14-15.

Abraham did not just cut Ishmael off but provided for he and Hagar as best he could under the circumstances, providing food and water to help on their journey.

“And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs. And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bowshot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.” (Genesis 21:15-16)

When the water was gone and they were suffering from dehydration, Hagar left Ishmael under a bush and went where she wouldn’t have to witness his suffering. Though he was sixteen, he was still a child in many ways and she couldn’t bear the thought of his death.

“And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.” (Genesis 21:17-19)

Like most of us from time to time, Hagar had become so focused on her problems, she had not seen the solution, and had given up hope. She didn’t realize God had brought her to the perfect place until God caused her to see the well. Before showing her, he reminded her that he was going to take care of them. Imagine her joy when she saw the well.

“And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer. And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.” (Genesis 21:20-21)

Ishmael became a successful hunter and remained in the wilderness area, later marrying and Egyptian woman. More than two hundred years later, Joseph’s brothers sold Joseph to some of his descendants as a slave.

Galatians 4 uses this story to demonstrate that human efforts can never substitute for faith.