To Be A Godly Woman

I Peter 3:1-6

A major source of controversy in many churches is the woman’s place. Years ago, a church in the town where I was born would not allow the women in their church to wear any colors but black or dark blue. Shoes had to be button type, and a plain hat or bonnet had to be worn. Jewelry was absolutely forbidden and hair had to be worn in a knot. Black stockings, ankle length skirts, and long sleeves were mandatory. The humility to wear such unstylish clothing was a source of considerable pride.

Thanks to the emphasis on women’s rights, the woman is no longer considered a slave to her husband, and some old standards have been generally rejected. A few churches stress returning to those old standards, and younger women are often offended by the demands. They have a right to be. As we examine the passage, we need to consider exactly what Paul is saying before we discount it as anti-feminist. Peter here addresses the woman’s special responsibilities.

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” (I Peter 3:1-2)

Some have taught that the woman must do whatever her husband demands without question. Men who have such an belief are often very demanding and dictatorial, and most women rightly rebel against such an attitude. Ephesians 5:22-23, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body,” is often quoted to justify the teaching. It comes very close to the old Mormon teaching that the husband will raise the wives he loves to go to heaven and that she must please him well enough he will want her. She was almost a slave, and some modern teaching has the same effect.

As we study the scripture, we realize our salvation is not predicated on our behavior, pleasing Christ, but on his love, despite our sin. Our obedience to Christ is based on and demonstrates our love for him according to John 14:23-24. “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me.” Our love for Christ is rooted in his love for us, as I John 4:19 tells us. “We love him, because he first loved us.”

Christ does not dictate every aspect of our lives, although he asks to be considered in every area. We are to have an attitude of cooperation with him, knowing his love for us, and his intent to benefit us. Ephesians 5:24 commands that wives show a similar attitude of cooperation to their husbands. “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Her demonstration of love will have a considerable influence on drawing an unsaved husband to the Lord. At the same time she is to recognize the truth of his unloving behavior, and Like Abigail in I Samuel 25, who was blessed of God for going against her husband when he was doing wrong, protecting herself as well as others by her actions. Like Nabal, some will not listen, so who knows what the results will be? Peter gives some guidelines for producing the greatest impact.


“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (I Peter 3:3-6)

If the woman is to be an effective witness, she must not be focused on her appearance, either dressing in an unstylish manner to impress with her religiosity, or over dressing to impress with her good looks. I Timothy 2:9-10 addresses the same issue saying , “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” The word modest means “not calling attention to itself”. The focus should be on obeying God, rather than on her appearance. Proverbs 31 teaches a great deal about the attitude of the Godly woman. When her attitude is Spirit directed, her actions will be pleasing to God.

I Peter 2 deals with the attitudes and actions of Christians if they are to please God, and I Peter 3:1 starts “Likewise…” Adherence to a set of rules will not result in godliness.