Esau Gets Married

Genesis 26:34-35

Esau was a sportsman. He enjoyed hunting and fishing and getting out into nature. While he had grown up in a good and godly home, the things of God were far less important to him than his sports. When it came to choice between his pleasure and God’s promises, he chose the pleasure, trading off the birthright for a quick snack. Genesis 25:34 tells us, “…Esau despised his birthright.” His primary concern was his own enjoyment, rather than anyone else’s. While he wasn’t rebellious toward God, he just didn’t have time for him. The attitude showed up again in his choosing a wife.

“And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.” (Genesis 26:34-35)

Esau gave no thought to what either his parents or God would think about the woman he chose. After all, he was old enough to make his own decisions, and they wouldn’t have to live with her. She was attractive and exciting, and fun to be around, so he married her. They’d just have to accept her. It is the same attitude most people portray today. Few stop to think how selfish the attitude is, or what effect it will have on them, seeing only the immediate pleasure.

Our choice of mate is going to affect our relationship with our family. After all, the parents have invested a lot of their life into the child’s development and will resent what destroys it. If the mate gets along well with the family, the ties may be strengthened, but if there is conflict, the relationship may become very strained. A selfish mate or a selfish parent can force the child to choose between their mate and their parents, creating severe emotional distress, which further irritates both sides. Ultimately this may produce total estrangement from one or the other, or both. Many times, a divorced child blames his parents for the problem and avoids them as well as his mate.

Unfortunately, the person getting married is usually too close to get a clear picture of what the person they are dating is really like. Parents and friends may obtain a more complete view simply because they are less emotionally involved. On the other hand, parents or friends who are selfish or controlling are too emotionally involved to make good assessments either.

Our choice of who we marry also affects our relationship with God. An unbelieving mate may force one to choose between doing what pleases God and what pleases them. This creates a tension that may eventually destroy either the relationship with God or the marriage, or both. It is pretty selfish to ignore the effects of such a marriage.

Once the decision has been made, however, the parents have no right to break it up. Isaac and Rebekah could not force Esau to divorce Judith and Bashemath, no matter how much they disapproved. As Matthew 19:6 says, “…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Parents who seek to break up their children’s marriages are no different than any body else who tries to break up a marriage. They are trying to destroy what God set in place. It is not pleasing to him.