Trying to Rebuild His Relationship With His Parents

Genesis 28:6-9

Imagine a bunch of balloons stuffed into a box. Every time one balloon loses a little air, the pressures and relationships of all the other balloons are affected, although they may not be noticed. If a balloon pops, or another one is added, the effects are more noticeable. Human relationships are much the same way. A change in one affects all the others in some way, although the changes may not be noticed.

Living in constant contact with the Hittites, Esau had been attracted to two of the women and married them. Genesis 26:34-35 describes it. “And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.”

Because his wives didn’t feel comfortable around his parents, Esau probably spent less time with his parents than he otherwise would have. Unfortunately this probably also resulted in some resentment toward his wives. Undoubtedly, there were also tensions between the wives which also strained their relationship with him.

“When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan; And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram; And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.” (Genesis 28:6-9)

Looking for a way to improve his relationship with his parents, Esau saw how they had sent Jacob away to find a wife they approved. That they specifically charged him not to marry a local girl made it clear that the separation was the result of his marriage choice. Hoping to find a girl his parents would welcome into their home, Esau went down to his uncle Ishmael’s home, and married one of Ishmael’s daughters.

In modern culture, divorce is viewed as acceptable and polygamy is not, but in their culture it was. In the modern world, he would have left his first two wives, and remarried. He would still be required to pay child support and perhaps alimony. The biggest difference between then and now is taking responsibility for their actions.

Conflict with inlaws and friends is a major factor in much of the divorce today. Introducing a new relationship changes all the old ones but may not relieve the tensions. Both parents and children need to learn to consider the effects their actions may have on other people’s lives.

One relationship that is affected but often ignored is that between a person and God. I Peter 3:7 emphasizes the effect of marriage relationships on our relationship with God. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” II Corinthians 7 deals with several aspects of this.